I Write Sins Not Tragedies

2007-08-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

Love, Jasmin

2007-07-30T01:40:00.000+08:00

Oh for goodness sake, stop playing girl and come on home.

2007-07-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

Yes, i do realise i havent updated in a while.

And for a while, life was good. I got my fair share of sun, soccer and retail therapy. But then of course, reality always comes crashing down on you, the way a 10 000-tonne weight falls on Mr Coyote in just about every series of the Roadrunner. Beep beep.

In the midst of falling over yourself to catch up with tutorials, getting back gay grades that definitely do not rhyme with the aforementioned adjective, making time for your significant other, lamenting over cellulite gain and mula lost, tightening your belt, only to end up LOSING YOUR WALLET FROM RIGHT UNDER YOUR FREAKING NOSE, you take a step back, run your eyes over the mess you call life, shake your head, and throw yourself right back into the chaos.

2007-06-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Before chem paper:
"Die ah i never studyyyy!!"

After chem paper:
"Wah hengg ah, lucky i didnt study!"

HAHAHA.

4 down, 1 to go!

Am looking forward to a fun-filled weekend :))
Fri - Sentosaaa!
Sat - Testimonial match + bbq
Sun - SHOPPINGGG :D
Mon - Chill-the-pill!

Excited, excited! :D

Okok study.

2007-06-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

Have been feeling mighty awful lately. Migraine, nausea and what not. I hate feeling so sickly (esp when im not!) it gets me depressed and nothing done. I attribute it to the following:
- CTs
- lack of sleep
- too much fast food
- and bubble tea
- the pimple on my forehead
- the weather (yes, you can blame anything on the weather)
- everythingelseihavebeenfrettingover
But damn, i sure hope it's just pms.

I need some sun, soccer and retail therapy.

On a sidenote, ants have been invading my com. Claud says it's because i have been eating at my com but i'd like to think im just too sweet. It makes quite an ego-booster :D

2007-06-10T01:13:00.000+08:00

Goodness i've been eating fast food for (so many i've lost count) days in a row i think i can make my own supersize me documentry.
Time to go on a fast-food hiatus.

And i've been going out so much my ez-link is depleting faster than the ozone layer.
Time to get driving license.

2007-06-03T02:40:00.000+08:00

When pearly asked me to go support kayak competition, it didnt really hit me where i was going until the bus i was on passed by the route Van Basten (power legs!) walked, all the way from ecp to bedok reservoir.
Yes, "Silver mirror, surrounded by a ring of grey", indeed.
Trudging along the rocky road, nostalgic like cheapskate shit.

Went to py's house after w/ The who and The what (haha!) to study and catch up. I miss them a hell lot (:

Hey There Delilah
- Plain White T's

2007-06-01T13:52:00.000+08:00

3 things to update:

The ball is round,
soccer is unpredictable.
And that's the beauty of the game.

You surprise me more and more each day.
I will seriously never look at a packet of skittles the same way again :D

Study.

2007-05-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

So jasmin my dear, you went and failed. You failed yourself, everyone who believed in you and eveything you ever stood for. Because you were so weak the one moment your strength was called for the most. And the best thing is, you only have yourself to blame.

Deal with it.

Whatever. Actions speak louder than words.

Your actions are freaking muted.

2007-05-26T07:47:00.000+08:00

2007-05-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

To VJSG, with love:

Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

C'mon girls.
Let's play soccer,
VJ style.

2007-05-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

And so we've earned ourselves 3 more precious trainings to closure.

In a way, i told myself to bag this so that we can extend what little time we have left together. It's been the only thing on my mind the past week, not being able to train as a team anymore, i can hardly concentrate during lessons. Im sorta glad the finals are on the last day of sch, even if it means a majority of the sch population will be down and the pressure will be up, cuz at least then, i wldnt have to spend after sch hours floating around the compound aimlessly like a ghost so soon.
Soccer has become an integral part of my life, i cant imagine what it'd be like without it. So much so that ive been packing my hols with activities to occupy myself, even when i know i shld be mugging for midyears. I don't care if i have no time for school work, or to shop, or visit the dentist, or apply for an atm card, all i wanna do is kick ball, kick ball and kick more ball, even if it grinds me to the bone. Lam says ive got my priorities wrong, shang says im just being emo, but until you can say something that will fill that bottomless pit burning deeper in my stomach everytime i think about this, i just can't yet let go.
Already the field's getting emptier and emptier each week. I remember when we had to fight for space to train on the field. Come june, it'll only be the trackers and throwers lovin the land.

But i really shouldnt be thinking about this right now. If i cant stop it all from ending, the least i can do is end it the way we all want it to.

Ok now stemmed from a certain decision i, gesture she and remark you made, i realise i have a couple of sorrys to say.

To the girl i so wrongly tackled in the sr match.
To xiang/lorena (i cant rmbr oh no! :( ) and leong for being irritated when we cldnt find our bottles during half-time against rj.
To neo for that insensitive remark i made today which im pretty sure caused a huge amount of distress.

And most of all, to some particular ppl for being the imperfect person that i am, for failing to please and letting you down in ways i cant bring myself to say, soccer unrelated. But i dont ask for your forgiveness, because there really isnt anything to forgive. Just understanding, accomodation and support while i try to rearrange myself.

2007-05-13T00:37:00.000+08:00

I realised that there's a trend in sporting ccas. In a newly established one, the standard across the board will be relatively low because everyone's still feeling their way about and trying it out. Then in a year or two, the bar is raised a little and a couple of promising schools emerge. And each year the competition grows and grows, until all the pro national players and what not start dsa-ing and appealing to a particular school and that school starts to dominate in the sport. And then maybe they get complacent or lose their drive or crack under overwhelming expectations and lose their title to another team who wants it more. The championship then gets knocked back and forth like like a tennis ball.
Of course, there are always exceptions.

Anyway, the match made me think. What if for every game we had to play under the blistering sun against duplicates of ourselves. Playing against a duplicate is one of the hardest things to do. Like in an action movie when the baddest bad guy is a clone. Because a clone thinks the way you do and reacts the way you do and knows your every next move. What if every match got us into a defending frenzy and an attacking rush? The mere thought of it tires me out, im glad it didnt have to come to that this season. I will have to leave tt for the next batch when the competition gets tougher. But right now lets just focus on the task at hand.

N: How was you match?
J: 3-1. It was a tough fight.
N: Huh, 3-1 tough fight?

Ppl go "Sure win one la" or "Expected" like its so easy, but they dont see the uncertainties, the anxiety and doubts that parade through our minds. When you've given all you can, it comes to a point where it starts to suck you out more mentally than it does physically.
The only difference is that we were able to overcome it.

Perfection is not the absence of mistakes. It is being able to look your team mate in the eye, knowing that you told her the truth, that you have given your all and done whatever you can.
Be perfect.

2007-04-29T23:23:00.000+08:00

On the way to tuition today, a little boy dropped his toy car and i helped him pick it up.

On the way back from tuition today, i dropped my wallet on the bus and this guy helped me pick it up.

I heard it's called karma.

2007-04-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

Physical training is painful and intimidating and sends swarms of butterflies fluttering in my tummy everytime, i swear i could almost regurgitate wings.

But what do you do when you stare death in the face?

You say: I am going to conquer you.

2007-04-15T02:48:00.000+08:00

I luuuuuuuurve this song! everytime i hear it play i swoon with delight and start singing along :D
Turn up your speakers, yo!

Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one i got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

It's been some time since we last spoke
This is gonna sound like a bad joke
But momma i fell in love again
It's safe to say i have a new girlfriend

And i know it sounds so old
But cupid got me in a chokehold
And i'm afraid i might give in
Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin'

I mean she even cooks me pancakes
And alka seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain't love then i don't know what love is

We even got a secret handshake
And she loves the music that my band makes
I know i'm young but if i had to choose her or the sun
I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one i got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
[x2]

It's been awhile since we talked last and i'm tryin' hard not to talk fast
But dad i'm finally thinkin' i may have found the one
Type of girl that will make you way proud of your son

And i know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long
But i promise this is on a whole new plane
I can tell by the way she says my name

I love the way she calls my phone
She even got her very own ringtone
If that ain't love then i don't know what love is

It's gonna be a long drive home but i know as soon as i arrive home
And i open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor
She'll be back in my arms into my arms once more for sure

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one i got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

She's got a smile that would make the most senile
Annoying old man bite his tongue
I'm not done
She's got eyes comparable to sunrise
And it doesn't stop there
Man i swear
She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten
And now she's even got her own song
But movin' on
She's got the cutest laugh i ever heard
And we can be on the phone for three hours
Not sayin' one word
And i would still cherish every moment
And when i start to build my future she's the main component
Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it but
Everywhere i go i keep her picture in my wallet like you

Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one i got ba ba da da
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot ba ba da da, ba ba da da
[x2]

2007-04-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

Am mighty upset over my lack of discipline. If this means as much to you as you swear it does, girl, you would learn to keep early nights, a healthy diet and your ass offline.

7 more days, 3 more trainings.
Nat's right.

Don't chiong now, chiong when?

2007-04-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Today muthu knocked me on the head. And for once i didnt retaliate. Cuz i think i totally deserved it.

Tsk jasmin. You SO saw it coming. You saw but didnt budge. In fact you practically invited it onto your doorstep. It's like stepping over the yellow line when you effing knew that it was there in the first place. Not to mention the warnings being blared over the speakers in four different language: For your own safety, please stand behind the yellow line.
Well serves you right i hope you get hit by the train. Let's just sit and stare helplessly as your hopes get eaten away bit by bit, slowly and painfully, knowing you were the cause of it all.
Again and again and again.
Tsk, i thought you were smarter than this. When will you EVER learn.

Anw, FooSeeBon makes the most WTF?! comments in lectures, it makes me wanna double over with laughter and then roll my eyes until the whites protrude and i can see the blood vessels at the back of my sockets. It's a love hate thing.

Oh and guess what. I just logged onto the evoting website, activated my gmail account, and saw two mails from the Music_Fest_Admin:

Music Fest Tickets: successful
Music_Fest_Admin to me
Apr 6
Congratulations! You have been allocated for 2 ticket(s).for Music Fest 2007. The SC will make available the tickets collection details shortly.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Music Fest Tickets: Unsuccessful
Music_Fest_Admin to me
7.27pm
We regret to inform you that due to overwhelming demand, your request for Music Fest 2007 tickets is unsuccessfully. Your request will be placed on our waiting list should the allocated tickets are not collected. Thank you for your interest.
THIS NOTIFICATION IS FINAL AND SUPERSEDES ANY PREVIOUSLY SENT EMAIL.

Theyre engrish damn powderful sia GP confirm A1.

Ok that doesnt change the fact that i didnt get my Music Fest tickets. Am going to sink into depression now, byebye.

2007-04-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

HAHA look what i found online

2007-04-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

My phone is suffering from bad karma, dammit. It has lost its pouch, its screen protector keeps coming off, and it cant seem to receive calls or messages.

Which is why i didnt receive leong's msg or deb's and jm's incessant calls to tell me tt the match was cancelled and only found out when i arrived at Khatib station. At least i had the presence of mind not to tap out when i didnt spot any yellow jerseys ard and began to feel suspicious, haha. Thk you coach for picking me up at Kallang.

And sorry for the inconvenience caused to everyone who's been trying to reach me.
Just please don't get on my case as if it's my fault my phone is dying on me.

So much for calling.
ROAR, technology annoys me.

2007-04-03T00:41:00.001+08:00

Call, jasmin, CALL!!!!
Ring ring.

On a happier note, Evil-eyes, Evil-eyes! :D

2007-03-29T18:40:00.000+08:00

My goodness ive been so preoccupied with my thoughts today i totally missed my stop on the first bus and took the wrong one in the second.

She's right, there are still so many things that i don't know of.

But right now my mind is in a state of:

And im tired of thinking.

2007-03-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

UGH blogspot pisses the shit outta me. Havent been able to access my site for days but have been too busy to try fixing it until now. I know it cant be the template because when i click preview everything's fine and dandy but when i enter the url all i get is this:

Anyway, ive tried changing my url so lets see how things go from here.

My dad had the strangest thing happen to him sometime last week of which i dont feel obliged to elaborate but basically it got him to stop smoking on tues. That is no mean feat i tell you. I would be referring to the action of actually succeeding in getting him to stop smoking for 52 days a year, but if you empathise with him then i guess its both ways considering that he has been smoking every single day for what? 34 years? The thing is i have spent my entire 18 years alive (ok or at least since i started going to school and succumbed to the HPB's incessant campaign to drill into young virgin minds that smokingdrugsandsex are badbadbad before the evils could get their clutches on us first) trying unsuccessfully to get him to stop smoking and one fine day a stranger walks into his life and does the impossible. If only i had such power. I remember as a kid i used to nick his cigarette packets and hide them all over the house. Haha come to think of it that really annoyed him :D But of course i would always have to return them in the end. As a 10 year old i couldnt possibly have a chance against a full grown 45 could i? When i got a lil older i found out that every cigarette packet costs $7+ (i bet the price has risen since but anyway,) That was when i had a daily pocket money of three bucks, five if i was staying back. It made me even more determined stop his habit. I made him promise that if i got into the school of my first choice (yes, st nicks) he would stop smoking. Disappointingly, he never kept his end of the bargain. And i never failed to remind him that. Still, i persisted. I must have been too young and gullible to see that it was never gonna happen. Well, at least not from my constant nagging. But then one day realisation came crashing down when i asked my mom why she never makes an effort to stop him and she replied "I have spent my entire marriage trying to, i give up." It got me thinking, if mommy cldnt even do it what made me think i could? So i eased up on the antics except for the occasional irritated noises i make when i catch him redhanded. Ironically, that was when he began cutting down. Haha i must have overloaded him with guilt.
Then there were times when i had friends commenting to me on how much they hate smokers and i didnt know whether to feel offended or not because as much as i disliked smokers too, i didnt hate my dad (well ok there were times when i felt like i did, but i didnt really) I knew that being a smoker doesnt necessarily make you a bad person because my dad definitely wasnt a bad person. But i didnt exactly know how to put that in words then.
Im glad i do now.

2007-03-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

Camp's over, holidays are out and school's in.

Camp was quite a blast. We worked more on field work rather than fitness though, so im still quite worried about that. But gameplay was reeally good except maybe the last one when ppl started getting frustrated with each other. Temper temper, i think that's smthg we really need to work on.
Third day was gauntlet! Starting from school, to Blk 3, to Bedok Reservoir, to Changi Village, to National Stadium, to City HAll Old Fire Station, to Jalan Besar, to Mustafa and back to school. Super shag but daaaaaaamn fun! :D Kudos to coach n mr cheong for staying up late to plan and prepare a not-so-amazing race in which they pretty much made us comb the entire East with a mere budget of 10bucks. Not easy ok 1 team 5 people, 1 bus ride $2.75 alr. Some teams resorted to ~~begging~~ asking strangers for money and somehow managed to miraculously collect enough money to take cab. BUT our team (Van Basten!) being very FRUGAL and preferring to retain our pride, so to speak, decided that taking 2 buses to reach one destination was too much a waste of resources and so we ended up WALKING FROM EAST COAST TO BEDOK RESERVOIR. I don't remember ever having to walk that far before. Haha! Looking back i think its quite funny how we managed to do it. Poor wy had to scurry just to keep a 100m gap behind us lol. Sorry we put you through this but thanks for sticking with us! Here's to you :)
Highlights along the way were us picking up rotten mentos wrappers and a broken cd in a desperate attempt to complete our scavenger hunt list, haha! Frugal to the max!
Best won in the end via penalties against Zidane so i guess their competitiveness paid off. All expense paid movie trip anytime anywhere siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i also want!

Ok sleep beckons so pardon the abrupt ending. Goodnight to you.

2007-03-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

Sorry, i don't have a pill for you.

Of all the things i respect him for, i can't understand why in the world would coach choose to play with emotions like that. Surely he would have forseen the consequences that would follow?
Yes, he did say that he would do his best to break us within 60 hours, and i for one believe that this will not affect our performance as a team on the field, but deep down, we all know that impressions will have changed, friendships affected and feelings hurt. What's the use if everything is alright on the field, but not off it?
It isn't so much of: If your friendship is true, it will be strong enough to withstand anything, but think of it this way: Had it not been for this game, our friendship would have grown strong enough to withstand more than what it had to withstand today.

I just hope what happened this evening will not cause any disharmony in the team. And in case i get gas-poisoning and die tomorrow, just so you know, i love you. Every single one of you.

That being said, two words:
DON'T EMO :)

2007-03-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

I just realised i failed to update about inter-cca relay and had it been any other thing i would simply have been too lazy to do so considering that it took place over a week ago, but no, not this. Why, i can still remember every detail of that fateful day.

Neo 200m, jo 200m, nat 400m, kuanren 400m, jaslyn a whopping 800m.
Oh you should have seen kuanren do her thang man, pulling us from a considerable lag at last place to the lead, she is DA BOMB. And jaslyn making some other girl eat her dust in the last 50m to clinch victory.
But what really got me wasn't so much the race itself. It was the fact that our entire team including the coaches were all down to support each and everyone of them every inch of the way. I think we were like the only people running from one end of the field to the other screaming our hearts out and our asses of, with MrCheong shouting after us "Cannot run with them, don't run with them!" LOL damn funny! But we really couldnt help it cuz it was so exciting! and all we wanted was for us to win the race, we might as well have been running it ourselves. And i can still see the moment when jaslyn hit the finish line and the whole team surged towards her suffocating her with hugs and pats on the back. I can still hear the screams and cheers of victory, i can still smell the smell of sweaty vj pe shirts and most of all i can still feel the feeling of euphoria. That day, i saw the personification of TEAM SPIRIT.

And i have to say that i am very grateful to the coaches for being down for every single one of our races, even for such a small one like inter-cca relay and, of course, x-ctry. I dont think we'll ever find another coach who would take time out of his busy schedule to rush down to sch at 7.30 in the morning and sprint all the way from check point to check point of our 3.2km route just to cheer us on. No, we won't.

Beacuse we are TEAM.

2007-03-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD I'M BACK! :D

im so proud to announce that I CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT MY COMPUTER. hah wy you owe me one gargantuous chocolate bar just drop it by school anytime from 8.30am-7pm, Thurs-Sat thank you :D

nevertheless, it sure feels damn good to be taptaptapping away on my keyboard again. i was suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms, you have no idea.

Of course this also means that CTs are ovvveeerrrrr WHOO! :D ihavesomanythingsiwanttodoidontknowwheretostart!

But first, i'll update on soccer JTS, my goodness that was ultimate. Why? BECAUSE coach, mr cheong, viv and the rest of the juniors ruthlessly collaborated to punk the poor, over-mugged, mentally-drained, thawing-from-subzero-LT-conditions, yet-to-recover-from-post-CT-malady j2 seniors, and ips.
Message read: Change up and gather at 5.45pm. And we were all like: sia la straight after CTs train. But i told myself: It's ok, am motivated yo.
So ok, we all went up to the whiteboard. Sit and rowdy about, then coach came in face damn black. He started reprimanding us and said a whole damn lot of stuff which i shant reiterate here but basically the idea was tt nat wanted to quit the team and the juniors were feeling so neglected by us that they had to go to coach as an outlet for their problems. And of course, we being the poor, over-mugged, mentally-drained, thawing-from-subzero-LT-conditions, yet-to-recover-from-post-CT-malady j2 seniors, and ips, had absolutely NO IDEA of what we had apparently done, or rather, not done.
"You guys dont want your juniors around right?! Fine, juniors get out! Your seniors dont want you around. GO. When i come out i better not see any of you around."
WAH DAMN EMO CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW WE WERE FEELING. i think the last sentence was the only thing he meant in his whole speech la.
And he ended off with a "Meet me downstairs at the link bridge. We're going for one long run, long enough for you all to think about what i've said. I suggest you bring your bottles."
So we ran ran ran, push-up position at 4.8 mark, 6klick mark, not enough. Then finally we reached our makeshift soccer field (pit 58 i think) only to see the juniors lined up in one row. In that nano second realisation dawned upon all of us. Ok, maybe except our DEAR CAPTAIN who apparently suspected it was a prank all along but failed to let us on her lil secret THANKS AHH. Anw, the juniors spun around to reveal the sign "J.TS2007!:)" (cel was suppose to be the other . but she hadnt arrived yet) and at that point half of us just broke down, i cant quite put my finger on why. Maybe it was due to the overflow of relief (that it was all just a prank) or the guilt that had built up while we were thinking hard along the way (had we really neglected our juniors because we're so caught up with our own selfish lives?) or simply because we had come so close to losing our juniors it almost felt as if we did. Or maybe it was a combination of all three. Either way, i dont ever remember being punked this bad before its like someone telling you that ur (touch wood) mom passed away and then learning that it was all a joke. can u imagine the flood of emotion, one wave of utmost pain, one wave of massive relief and one last tsunamic wave of realisation that everything that you ever held dear to you could all be taken away in one instant and leave you so vulnerable that you begin to treasure your time and relationship with that person more.
But the juniors said they didnt expect us to react this strongly and they feel damm bad about it. HELLO it just goes to show how much you all mean to us ok. haha no worries la im just glad its all a joke and all's well within the team, that's all that matters, nods.

So glad to finally be able to train again today but trng was short cuz we had to go buy boots. :( That means i'll have to keep my fitness up till camp on thurs. I just hope we all make it out alive in one piece i think all the j2s' fitness has dropped like shit gah. Disruptions are so annoying.

In the meantime,
Mon, 10am @ East coast, Rollerblading
ONZ?!?

2007-02-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

Omg the computer is such a vice.

THAT'S IT.

I, Jasmin Chu, hereby declare that i will abstain from using the computer until Common Tests are officially over.

But of course, to all my beloved friends out there, if you ever need me, you know where to find me (:

Quick get CTs over and done with then i can go back on the field and KICK SOME BALL.

2007-02-26T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hola! We made it out first week of hell month alive. :) I kinda like it actually, adds variation to trng, rather than the boring ol' trackdrillsintervals2x3.2. Jing says get your joss sticks and papers ready, cuz we're coming back for more!

X-ctry performance was satisfying. Team got second overall and i clocked a p.b, nth prestigous but im just fine with that.

Been picking up on my game lately, but it's not enough. I know im capable of so much more. I dont train 4 effing times a week just to give tt type of performance on the field. No, coach is right, that wouldnt be doing justice to myself.
Harder, jasmin, FIGHT HARDER. You know you want it.
I can do this.
I must do this.
I will do it.

I just hope there's enough time. Give me this chance, please.

Coach says stamina, speed and skill will only take us this far. But heart, heart is what will take us to infinity.

I will freaking show you a heart that will go to infinity and beyond.

2007-02-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

This week is happy week! despite having slept at 2am almost everyday till ive now reached a point where my brain can hardly process thoughts in any coherent manner so forgive me if you find that it difficult understand im typing.

Kicked off R&R week with coach's bday on mon! Since we couldn't dunk him, we launched a futile Plan A whereby we had nat pretend to be injured in the leg and rolling on the ground in intense agony at the taps next to the grand stands. Held discretely beneath her was the hose imminent to come into action. Only our horrendous acting skills betrayed us.
Coach: What's wrong, what's wrong?
Nat: Ahhh..my leg..
Coach: Where?
Nat: Which leg ah?
Lol. And she held up the hose in full view waiting for the water to do its thang but obviously coach (humji as usual!) did his disappearing trick by then.
BUT OF COURSE, what's vjsg without a backup plan :D Mr cheong had kindly filled a bucket of water beforehand and hid it under the grand stands. Easing any suspicion he might have, we managed to coax coach back down for his cake and gifts. Sing song, blow candles, cut cake. Then _ (i cant rmbr who) and i crept up behind an unsuspecting coach with the bucket. Standing on the benches we showered him with blessings, i cant rmbr having done anything more exhilarating than that, hoho! :D

And that's him drenched. "Nice one there" :D

Wed was Vday, so here's a Happy Belated Valentine's to y'all!
Oh my, i stepped into class and was greeted by not 1 but 2 roses from weihan! What a nice way to start off valentine's, thks! though it pissed me off the way he started reading muthu's note and all but whatever im in too good a mood to bitch right now. hohum. And the rest of the day was simply a mad rush of ppl bustling around and exchanging gifts and well wishes! :) The atmosphere was so high i bet oxygen levels dropped by more than five times.
And here's a thanks to all for your gifts and messages and anyone else who made my day! (:

And today was CNY celebrations = no lessons, joy! i think the wushu ppl are so damn cool makes me wanna learn wushu as well :D Oh and during the performances some brainless dickhead threw an orange towards the aisle which hit jing right smack on the head and cleverly split open (the orange, not the head) bathing us all in orange juice. I think we were all damn pissed at first but like 5 seconds later we all burst out laughing because it was just too hilarious! Like on the head la WHAT ARE THE CHANCES! Lol! Must ask jing to go buy 4D ahaha. But that doesnt mean i forgive tt moronic (say, chnnnggg) cow who didnt even have the guts to come up and apologise. Like hello ure 17 (if not 18) alr pls use some common sense on your part! Unless of course he (or she, but i bet it's a him) was aiming jing then i must say he has one hell of an accuracy.
Went for lunch with the team then came back to sch with bird to study. Ive never seen sch this empty before and let me tell you i simply ADORE IT. It's so peaceful and quiet and tranquil and serene ive run out of vocabs to describe it. Took a walk along the grand stands and into the courts and there was absolutely no one around, it felt like the whole vast space belonged to me, i could do whatever i wanted and only the heavens would be watching. So i started doing cartwheels, hoho. But honestly, it made me want to stay there by myself all day.
I think i shall make the grand stands my favourite part of the school. When they're not occupied of course. Because it's always so open and windy and on normal school days you can see the different ccas training on the track and field and on days like this you can just watch the sprinkler go round and round and make beautiful patterns with water. I love it both ways.

Ok i am in dire need of a haircut, but prices are jacked up so high now i planned to wait till after the new year. Then i realised that by then my hair would probably be long enough to tie, which brings me back to my age-old question: to leave or not to leave? Now that is the question.

I also desperately need to keep to my resolution, aiyaiyai.

2007-02-10T00:16:00.000+08:00

I was pretty inspired by jing's performance today cuz she played hard as always despite her busted knee. It reminded me of who and what i was fighting for.

STILL,

i am sick of letting balls past me
i am sick of all the injuries in the team
i am sick of people having to leave the team
i am sick of the pain in my side
i am sick of trying to figure out what went wrong
i am sick of taking a knee after every training
i am sick of tears

Give me a stack of porcelain plates and a wall i feel like breaking some things.

Salome tell me how'd you do it last year.

2007-02-05T00:22:00.000+08:00

Had a loong talk with coach. am still trying to absorb what he's said cuz my mind's pretty saturated right now, i bet even spongebob would have trouble containing everything, albeit the fact tt he must have a really small brain judging from the stupid things he does which, personally, i dont think is funny at all. nono, im not being cynical. ive just never really fancied cartoons like spongebob or cow&chicken. i dont know how ppl can watch a weighing ton fall onto someone/thing and laugh. it isn't so much of the sadistic nature of it (that would be prized to happytreefriends, which i cant imagine how ppl can watch it and laugh too. i still rmbr the first time emily showed it to me, she was pointing at the screen and laughing and i just stood there O.O i never looked at her the same way agn hah, pinch of salt here emily in case ure reading) but more of... i dont know...just so lame? or maybe it's just me.
BUT I DIGRESS. now, where was i? at home sitting in my computer chair HAHA. Ok sorry..oh right, the talk. Self-talk, actually, says he. And confidence and faith. i have some major self-psycho-ing to do.

Anyways, was watching tv when this ad caught my eye:

i think it's really beautiful.

i realise that everyone suffers from low self-esteem at one point of time or another. it's hard but we all ought to learn to love ourselves for who we are, and i respect those who do.

2007-02-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

A while ago, it seemed like i had a whole load of things to blog about. But everytime i sit in front of the computer screen, i stone.
And stone.
And stone some more.

Like now.

Havent been playing well lately, it's frustrating. I have about 32 more hours to improve myself for next friendly. 32 hours and counting.

Alright lets talk about ystd's match. No not our small-sided, the Singapore vs Thailand one. It's nice to have some drama in this boring lil town once in a while. I was kinda hoping Singapore wldnt score that penalty though. Then ppl wldnt be able to say "Aiyaaaah Singapore won just because of that unfair penalty lorr" Even if tt penalty was more than just a lil harsh. But it was kinda ridiculous on the Thais' part as well, walking out like tt. Reminds me of what coach once said: Have you ever seen a referee go back on his decision? I almost thought i wld have ystd, but im glad to say i havent. I think it must be the first rule on their guide to becoming a top referee: Never go back on your decision.

Anyways, i like this part of the year cuz there's so many goodies circulating around school. Year 1s are selling sweets and treats to raise funds for their SLVs and angels and mortals are spoiling each other with chocolates, candies and...catfood? Lol, nah tts just what yinghan gave her mortal in return for his pineapple. His name is Gei..as in, really. Oh, the one who went up on stage to make tt carwash announcement this morning! (YES TTS MY JUNIOR CLASS THEY ARE SO ORIGINAL THEYRE DOING CARWASH INSTEAD OF BORING THINGS LIKE SELLING COOKIES AND SUCH AT EXCRUCIATINGLY HIGH PRICES I AM SO PROUD OF THEM :D) My angel and mortal make me happy because they give me chocolates which give me endorphins which make my day. :) I am so gg to spoil them. Oh and i think RITTERSPORT CORNFLAKES IN MILK CHOCOLATE is still DA BOMB. They are soooo goood, Malay stall's orgasm-inducing fried chicken is to Muthu, is like, RITTERSPORT CORNFLAKES IN MILK CHOCOLATE is to me! LOL

Just took out my Relient K cd again and i think they still have the best lyrics ever. Only lately ive come to realise tt the world is too noisy and have been replacing loud music in my mp with softer ones. I simply loooooove my mp to bits cuz when i plug it in, im in my own world it's like im living an MV :) Ahh ok, im off to drown myself in music now, Goodnight world.

2007-01-29T00:42:00.000+08:00

Coach seemed pretty happy with the team's performance in ystd's friendly. Im just glad we didnt lose. But personally, i felt tt i played a game as effed up as the field there, dont try to convince me otherwise. Gah, buck up jasmin.

Went down to the national stadium tt evening to catch Singapore vs Malaysia. Singapore won via penalties if you dont alr know. Not a very glamorous way to win but I think they deserved to, considering how hard they fought (and why wouldnt they, afterall, being singaporeans they cldnt possibly afford to lose on home ground) They had multiple chances, they just didnt take them. Lionel Lewis wasnt on top form though ): At least he redeemed himself saving tt last penalty.

Got seperated from the team after the match cuz i was very smartly with jing and viv
who turned out to be walking home -.- I think i walked the long way to Kallang Mrt and just when i managed to squeeze through the sweaty, smelly crowd to the entrance, the SMRT attendent in his purple uniform stood there yelling "Only MRT to Pasir Ris left!!" Four letters fell short of slipping my tongue. Anw thank the Lord for the invention of cars and fathers. (No, not the invention of fathers, tts just wrong. if you switched it the other way round it'd be 'for fathers and the invention of cars')

Oh and i want to say that SUNDAY ECONS TUITION IS SO MUCH MORE FUN WITH CLAUDIA! :D I swear i'll never miss a single session if she goes every week! I'll even pay much more attention cuz then i wldnt be dozing off (3-5pm is like nap time la pls) Her friend was being a noisy jerk but tts ok i like noisy jerks cuz they make lessons so much more interesting, hoho! :)
Claudia please say u'll come every week pleeeeeeaaaassssseee!

Oh and i'd also like to say that ULRICA IS A BALL OF HILARIA!!! (no i dont think theres such a word i just made tt up myself) I laugh out loud when IM-ing her :D

2007-01-25T22:04:00.000+08:00

So viv didnt make it. A week ago i would have told you: I will handle all other situations with the maturity of a 50 year old, but for this, just this, i will kick and flail and scream on the ground like a 3 year old cuz i want it my way and i don't care.
But i guess we all saw it coming, and after a buffer week of letting reality sink it's stinking teeth into my brain, i see that there's nth much we can do except to accept the fact and make the best of it.

It stinks, you know, to have to move along and leave ppl who have become part of your life behind. I am saying this with the ips in mind as well. I guess i knew it all along but it just became terrifyingly real towards the beginning of the year that soon the '06 intakers will have to be split up. I don't understand why we can't end our journey together when we started out together in the first place. It shouldnt work that way. I know it has been playing on everyone's minds too, and it sucks both ways. Putting myself in their shoes, it's like having friends over at your house for a stay and after they leave and you close the door behind you, you turn to face white-washed walls where your every step echoes loud and deep, and you feel a strange sense of emptiness inside. I know, if given a chance, the ips just might quit after the j2s leave, but that would be letting coach dwn esp after all the hope he's pinned on the ips and what happened w/ audrey. It's a real predicament and for having to face it, i respect them.
But we'll come to terms with it, with time, i suppose. And even if we dont, life'll still throw us in.
It hurts to even think about it. Why can't we move on together?

That aside, im proud to say that i completed intervals ystd without peeping a sound :) and it wasnt that bad etiher, albeit the sun scorching like a hot sexy mama (seriously the weather is like some old hag with PMS who mood swings like no one's business, though considering that she's so old you'd expect her to have had menopause by now) and there not being a CUMULONIMBUS cloud in sight. yes, i learnt a new word! (: two, actually, cuz at the end of trng we spotted some CIRRUS clouds. hoho! reminds me of harry potter. cumuloNIMBUS (2000) and SIRIUS (black). HHAHAHA! sorry i am so easily amused, non-geog student ahhhh

Oh, and this aftnn S62 started playing I NEVER. Omg so scandalous la I NEVER knew the ppl of scandalnavia had so many secrets! hoho they certainly live up to their namesake!

2007-01-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

It's hardly a month into 07 but the past 3 days have alr really felt like the best days in the entire year! There are so many things i want to say right now i dont know where to start! So let's go by chronological order:

Tue
After a looong day of lessons i finally got back my econs R and i met my target grade on the dot! :D happyyyy! Rushed out of the LT to share the good news with fellow R friends jing and grace but they were nowhere to be found! They had gone for a run at ecp abt an hr earlier but 4.8k doesnt even take 40min and pu-en was in sch waiting for them to return. So monster and i got really worried and decided to go look for them. Walked out to the gate and realised tt i shld hv taken my phone along esp since i was suppose to meet py and pearly in abt 10min, but too lazy to go back. Walked to bridge and still no sign of them. Asked ard to no avail. Got more worried (kidnapped?!) and monster and i decided to split up to cover 4.8 route. Jogged all the way in sch u, cant even imagine what a sight we must have been. Reached turning pt and monster told me she saw 2 girls gg into underpass. Called pu-en to confirm it was them. Walked back all sweaty to see 2 sheepish dingheads stretching at the rd waiting for us, but was more overwhelmed with relief to be mad. Apparently they ran all the way to bedok jetty and stopped to watch ppl fish! Ahh, they're the only ones i know who cld ever do tt :)

Met up with py and pearly and headed to Wheelock for some NYDC fun! Ahh i still rmbr us having our og dinner there once, time flies, cliche as it might sound. We talked and talked and talked till the cows came home and managed to catch up with each other's lives. I love how we can share just about everything and anything with each other and i hope we have more sessions like this (((: I LOVEE YOU GIRLS to bbiiiitittsss! Then those 2 sillies tried to surprise me with mudpie but i found out. All the same, thanks! It was really sweet, both literally and figuratively :D

Hello claud youre not forgotten, when's our date? (:

Wed
S62 co-celebrated ruth's and my bday with a cake which i swear i totally didnt see coming except maybe for when lusha said out loud "When are we celebrating?" lol. Ruth got marshmellows in her gift and lala, geri and val made her eat allll the marshy-mellows first before she cld reach her gift. Somehow it ended up with us ponning first half of physics lect while muthu and alexi tried to see how many marshmellowa they could squeeze into their mouths till they started foaming. Geri made them say "fuzzy-wuzzy!" for every marshmellow tt they squashed in. By the time alexi started foaming, he lost count :D Super hilarious! Video-ed dwn the whole thing and i wld put it up if i knew how but im too lazy to explore now so visit out class blog n if luck's on ur side it might be there! Then we started throwing marshmellows into each other's mouths. Muthu scored 2! i scored many over-the-shoulders and in-your-faces :D 35min later the bell rang. "I think we should go for physics lecture now."

Trng => Intervals! I think i peaked too early. I used to be able to push myself in the past but lately, i just feel my perseverence slipping, even when the pain is bearable. Every week i find myself whining like a baby asking for kr and leong to pull me through, its pathetic.

Coach: What's wrong, huh jasmin, what's wrong?
Me: I dont know, i dont know.
Coach: You do. There's nothing wrong.

Sometimes it surprises me how spot on coach can be. He has said this a gazillion times:
Everyone will have a voice in their heads that is telling them to stop, and the more you run, the louder this voice gets. You can either let it stop you, or you can tell it to shut the hell up. That's what seperates the good runners from the rest.
Attitude, i like. Next time, jasmin, just run your bloody intervals and shut up.

And the other thing i wanted to say was, i got dunked (fountian, thankfully!) after trng, thank you very much.

Today!
And this is where i'll write my thank you speech as if ive just won a nobel prize for inventing post-its that ppl always buy but never seem to use. In no particular order:
GraceC, salome, waiyen, smith, wara, jo, leong, peiqi, nat, cel, phy, jing for tt nice evening at new york new york and the cake for kr and me; graceC for your body butter; py and pearly for tt wonderful spill-all session and the mudpie; 06S62 for the cake; vjsg for the song and ~~dunking~~; sam, lusha, lee kee, xianglong, alexi & stepson for the midnight conference!; shu, jing, graceS, charissa, eric, akanksha, claud & shang (attempted!) for the midnight msgs!; lusha for the magnet and mug; kr for your really long and sweet letter, chocs and non-wangwang rice crackers (though i think u misunderstood me lol!); farah for your creative jasmine-shaped card and incessant launches into the bday anthem in all 3 languages (eng, chi, malay) eveytime u saw me, till it came to a pt where i gave up trying to shush you up! :D; leong for her repeated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"s throughout the day; eileen for the cute card and hustling; jing for the very advanced wallet and the postcard; grace, monster, jing & jo for the marks and spencer's goodies; kokbin, viv, smith, zhi cong, pearly, yuanbing, tallie, xiuhui, ashley, deb, winston, pami, peiying, azlin, peiqi, nat, xinyi, cel, phy, xiang, mich, xueming, shi ling, waiyen, graceC, shi hui, heather, jessica, sharon, sixiu, natalie & binglun for your individual greetings (i cant belief some of you still rmbred!); monkey, steph, ivan & kane for the cake and short get-together; kor for the call!; and last but not least, mom & dad for the cake (: !
Now say that in one breath! haha.
If your name has not been mentioned above, fret not! because jasmin doesnt need you to rmbr her bday for her to love you. No really, i do, you just dont know it yet. (:

And yet another spill-all session with viv.
~~Sia la,~~ my secrets not secret anymore DONT TELL ANYONE AHHH.

Ok today has been a rather unproductive day in terms of studying, but u dont get to be legal 18 twice, right? hohum. I know birthdays are all about wishes but this year im just really grateful tt i have all these wonderful ppl by my side and if i could i wld make time stand still right now cuz i wldnt wanna change a thing.

What more could a girl ask for :)

2007-01-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

Joy! ive finally finished my probability tutorial. Im so pro at probability now i can tell you that the the probability of me using it in my future career is exactly ZERO. Nil. Nada. Zilch. Ok la, actly im not tt pro but i just wanted to sound like it. Hah

I think i am too shy for my own good. Stop laughing jo, I AM. Very often i find myself staring instead of smiling, espscially if i find u or the ppl ure with particularly intimidating. So if ure one of those ppl, im really sorry cuz i dont mean to be rude/dao. Im just very scarily shy. Ah, here's another to add to my list of resolutions.

Oh dear, ive had my chance and now i think ive blown it. Sam says we ought not to just sit and wait. Fight for happiness? Ok, time for damage control. I just hope it's not too late.
Peiying, help! :(

2007-01-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today's trng was a blast! albeit dreaded intervals. But i think intervals gives me the motivation to do better during field work cuz everytime i finish intervals i'd be so glad that i wouldnt mind doing anything else. Anw, we went ecp to train cuz it rained ystd and tyh wldnt let us use the field. When trng ended, everyone conspired to dunk mon who was helplessly screaming "i wanna tell my daddy and mommy!" Haha she's so cute. :) After we threw her in, coach came and was like "Okok, dont play alr." then he grabbed p6 and threw her into the sea, lol! Then someone shouted "Dunk coach!" who was obviously very outnumbered and somehow he ended up flailing on the sand with jing dragging him by the leg into the water. Ultimate! And later she went, "I also don't know what happened, it was like viv's spirit suddenly just overtake me!" HAHA! Dunking is always fun except when ure the one getting dunked :)

But that's not really the point of this post.

My point is, when i knock on your door, you'd let me in if you consider me as a friend, right? But when you dont, i guess 'friend' doesnt really mean much to you. i know ppl are obliged to keep their doors locked and sometimes they just can't find the key, but that doesnt change the fact that it still hurts. Bad. But im not the sort to keep knocking, cuz i do know where im not wanted.
So, it was nice meeting you, i hope you have a nice day.

Anw, ive thought of more resolutions to add to my list. Shall paste it on left column for self reference. It's 12.16pm. Goodnight, world.

2007-01-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

How many special people change

That's the first line of Oasis's uber ear-candified song Champagne Supernova, which was was also played in this week's prison break ad on tv. It couldn't have rung more true.
How many special people change, indeed. i wish they hadn't.

On a lighter note, team night went pretty well considering the amount of preparation we put into it, hah. The j2s and coaches did get punked by our theme afterall, albeit much speculation and suspicion. Haha, a round of an applause to all you good sports. The skit was freaking funny thks to jing and lam. Shit, those 2 nv fail to make me laugh. :D Things got slightly emotional towards the end, though i have to say i managed without shedding a tear. Wanted to stay over at claud's but there was trng the next day and i didnt have my specs and by the time we ended it was abt 11+. I suddenly miss tt girl like shiz.

So, the new year's here. It's day 4 of the year and day 2 of school. 361 more days to go. Hah. Ok la not so long, at least until the end of As. Which ends ard mid nov, leaving about 31 + 15 = 46 good days to the end of 2007. So technically, it's 361 minus 46 which equals 315 days to go. Sorry, ppl maths get D only, mental sums is a no go.
Anw as i was saying, it's a pretty bleak forecast for the year. Weatherman says, showers with thunder over many areas. Not to mention lightning and strong winds. I bet if i were to use jing's bo-peep umbrella it wld downright turn inside out. jiemin's one wld just disintegrate.

Nevertheless, here are my resolutions for 2007:
1) SLEEP EARLY. Take baby steps. We shall first begin at 12.30pm and hopefully by mid-year i can make it by 11.
2) And therefore, i will no longer need to sleep in class.
3) Stop lagging behind in lectures and tutorials. Similar to sleeping, doodling and stoning sometimes have tt effect too. Okay, all the time.
4) Stop wasting time on the damn computer. Blogging shall not be deemed time-wasting because it's good to keep a record of your life and i can practise my essay writing skills here.
5) With the team, win this year's championship.
6) Try not to get too annoyed with everyone ard me when im stressed, screwed and cannot finish mugging for tests.

These are all i can think of so far, apart from being a better person and spending more quality time with my family, which i do constantly try to achieve. Will add when i come up with more, if i come up with more.

Finally took my econs R today. Jing, grace and I agreed that if we all met our target grade for Rs, we'd go NEW YORK NEW YORK to reward ourselves. My target grade was a C, HAH. C for Can-make-it, C for Cancel econs remedial on my timetable, C for Chocolate ice-cream waffle from NEW YORK NEW YORK! Go jasmin!

Haha ok. Oh dear, it's 12.43pm alr i cant believe i just broke my first resolution. Okok start tmr. Haha now where have i heard that before...

Where were you while we were getting high?

2006-12-24T16:34:00.000+08:00

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

CHORUS
No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul

CHORUS

BRIDGE
What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth

CHORUS

2006-12-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

Im so sad. No, not because we lost the match. In fact we won, though there were parts of scrappy play and we let in a preventable goal. And no, not because ive got painful scrapes on my knees and a cut on my left toe from sliding leftrightcenter on the smelly muddy field. (ehh i didnt slide on purpose the field was rly slippery) BUT because monkey said smthg tt made me rly sad. ): Not actual text but here's a summary:

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
so
are we spending xmas eve tgt?

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
dont think so

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
whyy
):

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
so wierd lah

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
why?

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
aiya we not even close anymore

[Sorry for the interruption but THAT JUST BROKE MY HEART LAH.]

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
not close..
rite i shld go change my frienster profile now

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
dunno lah
recent meetups like not the same liao

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
whats not the same
eh u liddat say i damn sad leh

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
like i not
but true tt everyone's busy

cuz i dont need boxes wrapped in strings says:
tt doesnt mean we dont care
at least i still do

·$36 TAN06 ·$0 says:
haha they dont

And i was reading through our convo history and came upon our late-night world cup days. Nostalgia hit home --

retail therapy! says:
hello!

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
haha
almost never wake up
but then i thought
JASMIN IS WAITING FOR ME

retail therapy! says:
LOL
so nice ah

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
eh really eh
first i think
bed so nice
then i think
but v hot
then i think
eyelids v heavy
then i force my eyes open

retail therapy! says:
waahh
it must hv taken a lot of effort

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
ahahaha
aiya
either way im up

retail therapy! says:
so yay
haha
who are you supporting this time?

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
the referee

retail therapy! says:
.lol

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
good call!!
so sad to sg referee

retail therapy! says:
oh no i lost my emoticon
):

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
huh wad emoticon
cause you add new?

retail therapy! says:
yar
then overwrite
):

*********

retail therapy! says:
eh you gg back to slp not?

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
are you...

retail therapy! says:
guess so
then stay up 1 and half hr do what

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
huh 1 n half?

*********

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
wake up wake up
wake up lahhhhh

retail therapy! says:
eh why they still playing

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
extra time
wah liao
you first time watch soccer ah

retail therapy! says:
ohhhhhh
wahhhhhh

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
-piak-

retail therapy! says:
i wake up
see 5.22am
panic
then come out
eh y they still playing
i thought my clock wrong

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
wahliao very offense sia
then the defense pro also
ahahah!!
why you sleep?!

retail therapy! says:
fell aslp la
halftime go back close eyes
close until 5+

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
aiya actually second half not nice
extra time then nice
eh teach me electrolysis
i trying to study and watch
not doing a good job

retail therapy! says:
lol ok
so u know thje diff btwn simple cell and electrolysis?
i try to teach what i can rmbr ah
simple cell uses metals of diff reactivity

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
both keepers damn pro!
simple cell?
thats the battery thing ah

retail therapy! says:
eh u listening not!
yar

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
OAL
GOAL
OMG
GOAL

retail therapy! says:
goal
wah lao
y i type nth come out
nice one sia

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
NICE
CHIO
SWEE
OMG
HAHAHA

retail therapy! says:
YES GO ITALY

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
GERMANY CANNOT SCORE BACK LIAO LAH
29MINS
SWEEEEE LAHHHHH
I GOT MOOD GO SCHOOL LIAO
MUST SMS KANE
WHY I TYPING IN CAPS
hahahahaha
ooops

retail therapy! says:
GOALLLLLLL

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
GOAL
OMG
HAHAHAHA
SHIT
SHIT

retail therapy! says:
THEYRE HIGH MAN

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
HAHAHAHA
OMG
YARYAR
I ALSO
SCREW CHEMISTRY

retail therapy! says:
adrenaline from the first goal
helps
loads

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
BEEPBEEP
HAHAHAHA
nice one man
all corner
sorry kane :(
hahahaha i send him sms
BYE GERMANY :(

retail therapy! says:
LOL
too bad to all germany fans
wah lao
i go sch ystd
all support germany
i tell them
i supporting italy
when italy wins u all gna cry

·$36 TAN06 can't you see. it's killing me.·$0 says:
welldone jasmin!

retail therapy! says:
HAHAHA
i can go sch gloat now

Congrats if uve kept with me till here..doesnt matter its for my own record anw.
i really miss them and all our late night gatherings. i rmbr once when we were lying at the pool side deck chairs at 2am in the morning staring at the stars. i was talking about the bermuda triangle.
Monkey im sry u were always the one having to tk the initiative. I appreciate ur efforts, really. But i guess we're all so caught up with our lives right now. Your softball, my soccer. Steph's cool. God knows what happened to those 2 idoits.
Boys, if ure reading this, which i know u probably arent, but if you are, i hope this means smthg to you.

Okay this is getting too emo for my liking but whatever.
Ahh it's 12.05am and my bro's just hit 20. He's lucky to get off from camp on his day. Im off to congratulate him. (:

2006-12-21T00:38:00.000+08:00

Match on tue was cancelled cuz of the lousy weather, which was in a way a good thing cuz tt means i can play tt match now. BUT (yes there always has to be a down side) coach let us play BAREFOOT SOCCER IN THE RAIN ON THE ASTRO TURF! Of cuz i cldnt play cuz of my stupid toe and went to cycle for 45min instead. This is so saddening! There's nth i love more than barefootsoccerintherainontheastroturf!!! monster asked if i was happier tt the match was canclled or sadder tt i cldnt play with them. i cldnt decide.
And this morn they went to the cage for trng in case it rained agn (which, thanks to life's irony, it hadnt) and i cldnt go! (see reason above.) RAWR.
Tmr we're suppose to go jaslyn's house for some street soccer and OF ALL DAYS my make-up has to be tmr right smack in the middle of play-time! i hate this! this must be the funnest week of the entire hol and i missed it! )))): im so sad i think im gg to sink into depression like how the titanic sank into the big blue ocean.

Hey do u know christmas is in 5 days time? ive been so caught up w/ soccer and stuff that i hadnt realised it until deb said it aloud today after trng, and i was like what?! im not even in the xmas spirit yet. this must be the most un-xmasy xmas ever. no xmas cards sent out, no xmas tree put up, no xmas presents bought. REs only soak the blanket more.
i wish i still believed in santa.

2006-12-17T19:07:00.000+08:00

OUCH MY TOE!!!
Came home this morn and my toe suddenly started swelling for no good reason! It hurt so bad i cldnt even sleep right! It was perfectly fine the day before even after trng (which was uber shag i tell you) so i was quite puzzled and scared cuz i thought some flesh-eating bacteria had creeped it's way in when i was coming home in wet slippers cuz of the rain. i thought i was gg to have to amputate it and i wanted to cry cuz tt meant i cldnt play soccer or do any other sports for a long time to come. But in the end, the doc said it was an ingrown toenail/abrasion (from kicking the ball with my toe? coach wld say 'serves you right') and he said he was going to have to cut away the nail. "It might hurt a bit."
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR, PLEASE. It hurts even without me having to touch it la! So lying on the bench with him fiddling with my toe was like Nazi torture camp. DAMN EFFING PAIN i felt like i cld die on the spot! It was so pain i actually started tearing (read: NOT crying. yes there's a difference) which got me really annoyed as well. He prescribed me with an antiseptic cream and some powder which i was suppose to collect from the pharmacist but they told me that the product has been discontinued.
!
Oh, he also gave me 1 week mc (one week?!) but he says the swelling shld subside in abt 4 days. Of all weeks why this?!? Tt means i cant play in the match on tue! If luck has it, i'd recover in time for fri. AGGHHHHHHH!! ))): And my fitness would probably drop like @^$*&#@$%@* then! how how HOW?!?!?!

I seriously still think tt some bacteria has gotten in cuz my stupid toe is still swelling like some baked red lobster and i can literally feel it throbbing. The cream is not working its wonders and i am very sad cuz i cant kick ball for days. i hope i can still run though then maybe i can do intervals to keep my fitness up.
Mom says "Good, then you can concentrate on your homework." I am biting back my annoyance.

2006-12-11T22:57:00.000+08:00

grace says my blog is outdated n disappointing :( Sooo i have decided to update!

Rgym was showing on ch5 Doha the other night and seeing it made me miss gym sooooooooo much! i got so nostalgic i started ya-ing tui straight away! hah. then i called maggi n conferenced w/ cheryl to discuss competing next year. We've been thinking abt it since the start of the year but neither of us really got dwn to it with our busy lives and all. Watching gym really re-ignited my passion for gym. If you know me at all u shld know tt im a uber indecisive person, but for once in my life, i KNOW that this is what i want. Ive never been so sure of anything before, even with my stupid subject combi (which on second thought i shld have taken BCML, but wth) And of course, what's life w/o irony. Just when i have smthg i know want, there just has to be 698237209817 obstacles in the way. There are so many stuff to settle like getting a coach and a location and getting the nod from the sch which means having to go through COACH and TYH where i am expecting much discouragment. And most of all i'll have to handle soccer trng, gym trng and sch work all tgt. Ahhh! Plus A'div requirements are like so high. 1 and a half months nv train im stiff like wood now. And my ban tui and kong tui is so horrible. HOW!? It'll be quite dumb to go through so much to compete and come out empty handed at the expense of studies n soccer rite? Come to think of it, tts quite suicidal.

Then agn, for the love of the sport. And i seriously hate to be all talk and no action. Sigh. Aiya think so much now, dont even know if coach will allow. Grace says it will affect my chances of making it into the team next yr. Viv has, albeit unintentionally, convinced me tt tyh wld nv allow this idea to see the light of day. i guess i'll just tk things as it goes. Chances look slim. It must have gone to Jean Yip.

Shit, tt is so jingjing.

2006-11-25T01:08:00.000+08:00

Aiyo dunno why everyone's entry today so emo make me feel v emo also. Some more listen to jaychou songs extra emo. hahaa

Trng was so horrible for me la dunno what was wrong also. Aiya no talent what to do. Ppl are always saying hard work can make up for talent but sometimes i really doubt tt. i mean, if u dont have the talent no matter how hard u work also no use right.

And then azrul's..i mean coach's speech. i think some of them were like quite affected. it didnt really bother me tt much maybe cuz i saw it coming, or maybe cuz ive always kept my distance alr. dunno why just cant talk to him like some of the other girls. Upbringing maybe, ive always had this problem with higher authority. Or maybe like what he said just cannot click. Ive tried being more personal before but it was friggin awkward la, and not knowing tt all the while he was trying not to be too personal. Yea anw, some of them seemed rly upset, which only proves his pt tt things were getting a lil too close for comfort. But it annoys me when he suddenly mood swings and goes all moody. i wonder if he knows how much his mood affects the team's.

hmm yea 'nuff of tt. dont think i have anything else to update. oh except abt my wallet reappearing. long story i shant start. ranted enough abt it alr la just ask my frens.

oh yes, went adidas sale at expo today. had to queue to get in. and queue agn to get out. hah. bought soccer shorts shirt n cap for my bro yada yada yadaaa. aiya i dont rly like bloggin abt this kinda stuff la. Like "today i went (yourdestinationhere) and we did (youractivityhere)". Dunno i find this kinda entries quite meaningless unless u actually have an opinion abt smthg tt happened.

Yea today i woke up and brushed my teeth.

Peace out.

2006-11-20T18:44:00.000+08:00

Today is a lousy LOUSY day.

Which is, of course, very much due to the fact that i lost my wallet, along with ~$104 of cash, house keys and ez-link. And trust me, i dont usually carry this much cash ard, but we (soccergirls & i) were planning to go to adidas warehouse sale today so i took my savings + this week's allowance with me! Agghh! And i wld usually tap my card before i alight from the bus as well but for some reason i didnt today. Oh yes, i have neglected to say tt i left it on bus 36 at airport T1. We were gg airport for lunch. Anw, monster and i went to customer's service for help and they called the SBS transit station at T2 cuz usually the buses stop there for a while. Ohmygoodness, the station master is SOOO unhelpful ok, talk about GEMS. He just directed us to the security officer and asked for my no. which he didnt even copy dwn cuz when i went down to T2 later he asked for it again. Yea anw, by the time we got there 36 was long gone (duh). Poor monster had to go on an amazing race w/ me, which i really thank her for. Made a police report, but tt was about all we cld do. Jing says dun worry cuz there are good ppl around. "Are you a good person?" she asked. Well yes, i would return a lost wallet if i found one. But i also belief tt every good person in this world is matched with a bad one.

Anw, we went down to kovan for the warehouse sale later. I was deliberating whether i shld go since ive alr lost my wallet and all and have no ez-link which means i have to go ard begging for coins, but jo (was it jo i cant rmbr) said, "You come all the way just to lose your wallet ah?" So fine, i was convinced. But as you know, today just isnt my day. When we got there, there was this huge banner saying "ADIDAS WAREHOUSE SALE", but what we were really looking at was at the bottom left hand corner in small italic letters "Closed on Mondays". Oh joy. Of course we cldnt blame jaslyn cuz how was she to know when it wasnt written on the brochures. Stupid company spend so much money to print brochures also nv include impt details.

Thk goodness i had straight bus 53 there to Bishan interchange. Oh which means that there's actually a straight bus from Bishan interchange to the airport, at least ive learnt smthg from this terrible ordeal. And thk gdness for shuttle bus too.

No, that's not all. I had to deliver some goods to thomson plaza since my stupid buyer refused to meet at j8. $1.10 worth of coins for bus ride; 55cents there and back, right? Wrong. You'd have thought that the bus driver wld let me off considering what a bad day ive had alr. Of course he cldnt know that but surely he wld have noticed the dark clouds hanging over my head and "DANGER, STAY AWAY" in bold red written all over my face? Then again a bad day wldnt be a bad day if my luck took a turn for the better. Anw, i dropped in 55cents waiting to hear the ching of my coins dropping into the coin box and the sound of the machine processing my ticket, but all there was was dead silence. I felt like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered.
"Where to?" the driver growled in a gruff voice. Well actually he said in chinese, but tts not the pt.
"Thomson plaza" i replied, in my heart thinking "Not tt far right?"
"90cents" he said curtly. There goes my ticket home. He didnt even have the courtesy to look me in the eye, fag. i hate SBS.
And tt was how i ended up walking home in the rain (though i had the right mind to bring an umbrella) in slippers such that dirt and grime got all over my legs.

Sigh. Now, after going through every detail in my head of what exactly happened at the time i lost my wallet, and hating myself for not being extra careful with my stuff esp since i had so much money with me, i have to reenact every detail of what exactly happened at the time i lost my wallet to my parents and listen to their Great Wall long lecture of why i should always be extra careful with my stuff esp when i have a lot of money with me.

But i just really really hope tt my add is not anywhere in my wallet or that some good kind soul returns it to the police. Pray for me.

2006-11-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

This is really over-fashionably late, simply because ive been too lazy to. but of course, i cant say no to my stepson, so here goes. i'll skip number five though.

One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.

Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.

Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.

Four. Post them on your blog and let people guess which the five false ones are!

Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

..................................................................................

1. i eat peanut butter and kaya sandwich
2. i love to dress up but hardly get the chance to
3. i have been sky-diving before and loved it
4. i hate staying home
5. my fighting fish died after only a miserable 6 months under my care
6. i don't like perfume
7. i think micha barton is pretty
8. i can't sing for nuts
9. i have a tendency to stand up for wierd people
10. my brother suffers from cerebral palsy
11. FRIENDS is my favourite show of all time
12. i like cookies more than chocolate
13. when i don't feel like talking i'd like to be with someone who does
14. i think eating raw oysters are disgusting
15. i want to travel the world
16. i want to dance
17. i have run away from home before
18. i still sleep with my baby pillow
19. i wish i had double eyelids
20. i believe in putting myself in other people's shoes - if it hurts me it probably hurts them too

happy guessing

2006-10-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

i read this off yahoo's time capsule.

The greates pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't - always have faith in yourself.

i am inspired.

but right now i'm tired. no long, emo, post today.

2006-10-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

looks like my blog got searched off yahoo (or whatever search engine that was used) afterall. i shld have known. aye, correction. i knew. which was partly why i didnt give a lenghthy profile of my name, school, class and what not. but, well, i left the class link out of the sheer guilt tt crept up when i considered taking it down. afterall S62 does play a major part of my life. i shld have switched to livejournal. i cld do with the privacy. it's annoying to have to restrain urself frm putting dwn all ur thoughts in ur own journal just so it doesnt fall into the wrong...eyes.

anyways, see the other 3 personal links there? i linked cuz they were my gd friends. or so i thought. i hardly even see them anymore. sigh. it's true i guess, people come and people go. i mean seriously, ppl are always saying (or typing, rather) "i miss you" in big bold letter, but how many of them actually mean it? it's just a way of keeping a fren at bay while ure too caught up with ur own life to meet up. if u really cared u wouldnt find time, u'd make time.
still, they all drift away. and in some cases they only paddle back when their other friends have momentarily ditched them, only to sail away again once the storm has cleared. yes, im being spiteful here.

then again, i shld be thankful. thankful cuz all these have made me see who my real friends really are. the ones whom ive let down one too many times. time really is the biggest test of all. and though u guys will probably never see this, i just want to say, thank you.
for always being there.

2006-10-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

hi im back. i think ive lost interest in blogging. or maybe life is just too boring.

funny, u enter jc expecting so much and all u get is shite. really i'd much rather be back in st nicks. or maybe not. ok so they both have their cons. whatever, life sucks, eat ice cream, play loud music and cry yourself to slp.

but nope. no more self-indulgent, emo posts. it gets quite revolting once you think about it. so anw, promos are over (JOY!) and im trying to gather my thoughts and do everything ive always wanted to do but never had the time. the thing is, ppl are either not free or they just dont wanna get out of their caves. this is the 21st century for crying out loud! what are you, cavemen?! hooga hooga. me man, you woman.

im not mentioning names but i know of people who go to the library on the day of their last paper...or ppl who actually wanna go home. hell, i cant even wait to get out of the house! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?! that's the problem with vj. some just really dont know how to have fun. i mean mug ur assess of all u want, but cant you ppl just UNWIND once in a while?!?

alright im sorry. maybe im being a lil too harsh. maybe this is their idea of unwinding. but gosh, i just wish there was someone who'd be willing to spend insomniac nights with me. to do crazy stuff like playing with DIET COKE AND MENTOS. who'd rent bikes with me and cycle till the break of dawn. to curl up and watch episode after episode of GREY'S ANATOMY with. who'd pool with me until our cues break...ok maybe not until tt extent cuz our legs will probably break first, but yea. u get the idea.

ok i guess tt woulod be a bit unfair of me to say so since i do have ppl to spend sleepless nights with (sometimes) and it's often me who turn them down. but gosh, life can get real boring sometimes.

i probably wldnt be complaining once trng starts. trng = no life. but tts a sacrifice im willing to make. afterall, if you want smthg u have to work for it rite? im not hardworking really, i just believe in that. sometimes it gets hard, really really hard, trust me. but i guess once u get the momentum it's not too bad. and even then, there are still times when the going gets terribly tough and i cant help but loosen my grip a lil..it pisses me off when tt happens. so as u can see, im still working on it.

oh i visited the new bishan library today. contrary to what ive said before, i do not hate libraries. afterall i do love reading. it's just...you dont go to a library after your last paper. Anyway, the library was, well, normal. borrowed a couple of books. one wrote:

Even when we know they're all fuckers, we still hope for the one fucker who will rescue us from single life.
-Straight Talking, Jane Green

it's sickening how women need men so much.

oh a fren asked us if we thought if there were at least a hundred couples in vj, on fri when we went rollerblading. i said i didnt think so cuz tt would have to mean at least 200 ppl in the same sch were attached to each other. then they started gossiping abt who's with show and what not. seriously, the only thing tt spreads faster than disease is gossip. funny they never seem to reach my ears. or maybe its cuz im not such a fan of gossip. i mean sure, gossip is juicy every now and then(afterall who cld resist?), but when ur conversation with ur fren gets only as deep as how many boyfriends the next girl has had, it's time to do smthg about it. dont get me wrong, they're great ppl. im just mean generally speaking, you know, tt ppl should just let others live their lives once in a while.

hmm my Superman Returns vcd wldnt finish last night. let me try agn.

2006-08-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

understanding. that's the only word i can think of right now to describe what i really want. don't we all?

it gets hard most of the time u know, when everyone looks at u like ure some kinda freak. ppl act like they care for you when they really dont. because if they did, they wldnt use it against you to hurt you or shame you or single you out. they wldnt use you as a topic of discussion with others behind your back. they would come up to you personally and make an effort to try to understand. if they really cared, they wld have been there for all the times u needed someone. so tell me, do you really think you care?

we all have our imperfections, and that's just one of mine. it's not like ive nv tried to change. i have and it's only made me feel worse. but i guess only those who hv been through it will empathise. ive never really been able to talk abt it to anyone besides ws. and even then, it was hard to get it out. i wish there was someone who cld just overlook my flaws and accept me for who i am, instead of constantly trying to change me. someone who will know when to care and when to leave me be. but im slowly realising that i'll never find such a person. which is also why i sometimes suspect i'll end up being a spinster.

but that's ok. maybe then, i can adopt a few kids or support a child in some third-world country or go to Africa and help the needy.

2006-07-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

pardon the outburst. must be one of those rough patches in life. reading back now i feel kinda silly actually, at how immature i must have sounded. i have almost forgotten how terrible i felt then.
but i will make myself rmbr, just in case i find myself slipping back into that state again. as well as to understand what others feel like when it is their turn. so tt when i look into a friend's face one day and see all that emotion cramped into one small space, i will rmbr the pain and know that that is how it must feel like for him/her right now. yea, theres nth wrong with feeling depressed because everyone has their moments. and i want to be there for them just as my friends were there for me. :) thanks, u all.

ok 'nuff said. so what has been happening so far? diva la futbol happened exactly a week ago and im too lazy to update on the details. but all in all, it was a blast. :) we emerged second for the diva cup (long explanation on the elimination system i shall not bother) well at least we got tt $200 voucher. tt shld cover the missing balls and bibs. hoho. kuan ren aka chao ren rawks luhh. lol. she totally brings life into the team la..with all her crazy antics n tricks up her sleeves. yea i hope she makes it into the team. oh it was mr tang's last day w/ us too. sadness. just when i got to know him better on the bus ride home. oh well i suspect he'll be back for tt 5cents anyway. haha

finally got back all my demoralising midyr results. as wy predicted, it spelt SEEED.
someone else (i cant rmbr who): to grow what?
me: jasmine flower! hahaha!
you might want a jacket.
anw, mrs chan was telling us abt the various acronyms our new grading system came up with eg SUCES. failure is the mother of SUCES. no proverb ever held tt much truth. hah. well even tt wld require a C. i had to plead for a D. -.-
alexi's spelt USEUS (read: USE-US) i prefer SUE-US. :)
oh and i decided to tell my parents my results. i figured that it wld go dwn easier if they found it out frm me. heh.

went to look at hps today. exciting! :) think im getting k800i altho i really like samsung's E900. daddy, however, thot it was not worth it, esp since k800i was on offer. only $559! get it now! while stocks last.
hohum. i dun even need a 3G phone. oh well.

hmm i cant rmbr if i have anything else to say. oh except abt what i said before? well i dun actually hate soccer. haha
ok i shall end off with a nice song i dwnloaded today :)

Hate Me
by Blue October

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

2006-07-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

things have started to take its toll on me. i dont even know what to do but to turn to blogging to fa xie qing xu. (now how do u say tt in eng...)

anw, my results have been horrible so far (S E D) and the rest dont look too promising. the physics substitute tchr was really encouraging la
(in stating the different grades, namely A B C D E S U)
class: what's S?
sub-t: sub-pass
class: ooh. what's sub-pass?
sub-t: fail lor
and to think i even let in a glimmer of hope. and the worse thing is i studied can. well maybe not 100% effort but.. GAH.

trng's hasnt been on the up side either. my stamina's dropped like shit i dunno what's happened to me. it's like i no longer have the same determination and spirit i had before. i dont even feel the same. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. seriously, soccer has been absolutely draining, emotionally and physically. i find myself looking forward to next year when things can end once and for all.

i just feel so inadequate right now. like nth i do will ever be enough. i thought, you know, if i stopped hating myself so much, things wld be better..afterall tt's what they always say in those self-help stuff right? well, WHO AM I KIDDING. i'll always be a worthless freak and nth will ever change tt. i must be the most imperfect person alive. the idea of giving up is so tempting, esp now. ive always been too proud for tt, but all i know now is tt im so, soo tired and all i want to do is just lie down and sleep and never wake up. and there's intervals tmr..F*CK

i hate soccer. i hate everything there is to do with it. i never shld have come vj. maybe im still living in my past? xiu once wrote: You are my legs when i cant move on. where's my YOU?

i know i sound like some self-pitying moron, and usually i'd have snapped out of it by now. but i dunno why ive been feeling so depressed these days. my mind's so clouded i cant even think straight and there's tt twisted heavy sharp pain inside my chest. i'd like to think im stronger than this but now i know im not. it's a horrible feeling you know, like when u want to just break down and cry but the tears wont come out. when you want to scream at the top of your lungs but you're choked. when you want to hurt yourself so bad but you're strapped in a stray jacket in a cushioned room. (gosh tt must be how ppl in an asylum feel..) when you wanna kill yourself but you just wont die.

i think i might be possessed. or maybe im suffering from depression. whatever it is, help.

2006-07-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

1. Do the following WITHOUT complaints
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BY: charissa!

FAVOURITES
favourite colour: purple
favourite food: chocolate chip cookies
favourite song: more than words by frankie j OR hey leonardo by blessed union of souls
favourite day of the week: saturday
favourite season: winter! :)

CURRENTS
current mood: none
current taste: fried kway tiao
current clothes: pjs
current desktop: candaayy. hmm maybe its time i changed
current toenail: ...existent??? i dont paint my toenails
current time: 12.09am
current surroundings: peace and quiet. everyone's aslp n terence's off to camp
current annoyances: my phats.... and some idoit who's being dao.
current thoughts: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

FIRSTS
first best friends: genevieve. i wonder how's she doing now...
first crush: jy. oh those foolish days.
first movie: i cant rmbr...

LASTS
last cigarette: nv have nv will.
last drink: water?
last movie: just my luck
last phone call: to mom

HAVE YOU EVER...
have you ever dated your best friend: my best fren is a girl. i just DATED her today :)
have you ever broken the law: what? jay-walking?
have you ever been arrested: no
have you ever skinny-dipped: no
have you ever been on tv: no

5 things you are wearing: specs, pjs, underwear, nail polish, earrings
4 things you done today: SHOP! watched grey's anatomy, bathed, this.
3 things you can hear right now: the air-con, the cpu, my chewing
2 things you are going to do: read my novel then slp
1 thing you do when you are bored: go out onto the streets and walk aimlessly

tag? the next 5 ppl reading this (if there are even this many ppl who know the existence of this blog) yes which means that's you.

right, now that that's done, lets talk abt what's been happening so far.

ah yes, midyears are over. no need to screamcheershout, the novelty's worn off alr. not tt im not still enjoying myself tt is :)

okay i shant bore u by telling you how badly i screwed maths cuz there wasnt a single whole qn which i knew how to do and i that i left 40 marks worth of qns blank. or that there was absolutely no time for chem and i had to randomly shade boxes for the last 5 qns for mcq. or that i had only 10min to complete 2 essays for econs so they were not even half a page long each. oh no i shant.
i just hope i pass. GOD HEAR MY PLEA.

FRIDAY
was suppose to watch superman w/ the class but i went to sch to play soccer w/ seniors in the morn. so by the timei rushed home, bathed and changed it was alr 12:50 (movie commences at 13:05) so xl called and was like:
"hello jasmin you still at home ar?"
"er.. yea."
"the movie start at 1.05 leh. so i dun buy ticket for you alr ar"
"er... ok..."
sigh. so i was trying to find someone to spend the aftnn w/, at least until their movie finished, when stella called:
"hello jasmin you all still watching movie or not?"
"yea they're watching. the movie started at 1.05"
"you nv go with them ar?"
"yea. i was late -.-"
"oh. i just woke up lah!"
"hahah. good you can watch movie with me today then"
so stella and i went to watch just my luck at shaw centre lido. she was complaining abt how lousy the theatre was the whole time. i dont blame her - the seats were rocky, the back didnt even reach my neck, i cld hardly cross ans uncross my legs and the screen had black dots on it. and lindsay lohan cant act as an adult for nuts. there goes $9.50.

SATURDAY
suppose to go for monkey's sch's funfair today but SOME PPL (youknowwhoyouare) decided to pangseh. and to think i turned down a shopping trip w/ py for that. next time, remind me that i know better.
anw, since there was nth left to do, i went shopping w/ mommy. besides i needed retail therapy badly. bought a top, bangles, a bracelet and reserved a pair of slppers. Accesorize didnt hv the bracelet and earrings i saw in switzerland! :((( oh i bought a nike cap for korkor's almost bald head too! it was quite plain tho, compared to his other one.. but he said he liked it all the same since i bought it HAHA.
went to mich's house for mahjong at 8. mina n ele were there! :)) said they were lured by the cheesecake mich and jieying stayedup till 4am to make the previous day. lol. gosh seeing them really made me miss rgym all over agn. I WANT TO DO GYM!!! :( next yr i hope. but then there's the problem of a coach and chang di to consider..and time. if im doing soccer 3 times a week i dun know if i'll hv time for gym trngs as well. sigh! :( i was thinking maybe maggi and i cld train w/ the nj ppl. shall have to discuss with them.

SUNDAY
went for fullblown retail therapy with py today! :)) from 12pm to 7pm, imagine tt! lol. but it was fun!! yes, splurging IS fun! you shld try it one day :) nice shorts at forever21 and zara (zara's having sale!) but we were so fickle we cldnt decided whether to buy them or not. so we were thinking like ok later than come back. but needless to say, when we came back they were all gone! :( actually py hid her red shorts under a stack of red tees just so no one wld take them, but when she came back to claim them they were no where to be found. no where to be found...lol sounds like primary sch compo.
ok i shall tick off my gains: 2 tops, 1 skirt, 1 pair of earrings, 1 water bottle. abt $135 in total. mommy says i have expensive taste. :D
hmm but there are still stuff i need to get. like my denim skirt, and shorts (which are probably all sold out by now), hoop earrings.. tt shld be all. shld be. :)

hmm i realised i have no plans for tmr. i feel like playing pool.

..why is there no one online. its a hol tmr for goodness sake

2006-06-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

cant you see there's
"I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL"
written all over my forehead

hell, i dont. (btw, tt was a statement, not a qn) vj is so freaking boring. if ure some sec4 reading this, read: DONT come vj. and if ure some pro-vj reading this..well, too bad.

gahh i hope i pass my mid-years. otherwise, there goes soccer. WHAT ELSE WILL I HAVE TO LIVE FOR?!?

i'll miss hanging out w/ my neighbours till the dead of the night. :(((
and rtm isnt showing the match!! this is so annoying! rarrh.

at least i'll have post-midyears to look forward to. shopping! i cant wait!

POST-MIDYEARS SHOPPING LIST:
- cap (for my ns-bro. he looks gd in uniform ^^)
- shorts
- skirt
- ...

hmm. i cant believe my shopping list ends just there. nvm i trust smthg will catch my eye soon enough.

till then, it's back to youknowwhat.

i hate that AM-YU-JEE word.

2006-06-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

finally talked to my dad. some stuff shld hv been said a long time ago.

at least tts now one big load off my shoulders

it still makes me sick when he tries to be nice :/

2006-06-21T03:51:00.000+08:00

Numb
Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes

(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
every step that I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
every step that I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
and every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

2006-06-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

yuck. i hate lying. the next time i do it again, kick me.

but honestly, i prefer it when we're not talking.
sometimes it pains to see you try so hard, so i try to reciprocate in spite of myself. but most of the time, it just makes me sick.

so maybe ive lost ur trust in me..which i shld have a long time ago.
but i guess that just makes us quits.

what hurts the most is seeing mummy get caught in the middle of it all.

2006-06-11T17:03:00.000+08:00

she wants more than this life's got to offer

right. so ive revamped my blog and now im opening it up agn mainly so i can use this account for class blog. lets see who manages to find it first..excluding fellow scandalnavians of cuz.

wanted to blog about the switzerland trip but its been a week since and would take its toll on my memory.
ok maybe just a summary.

well what can i say, that week was probably my most memorable week for this year. for once i could literally forget all worldly troubles and just..have fun. plus all the wonderful sights and sounds. it was almost enough to quench my thirst for adventure. but the company was the best of all. :) yep, i miss the soccer girls alr.

and for the first time, I FELT SNOW!!! yes! soft, fluffy, icy-cold snow! at mt titlis. :D it was like a dream come true. the background was so white and blinding, all our pictures turned out as black silhouttes. and as anyone would have done, we starting throwing snowballs at each other, making snow angels in the ground and sliding/rolling down the slippery slopes! everyone was stumbling across the soft snow and flinging themselves and pulling others onto the ground because it didnt matter if u fell, the snow was there to cushion ur fall. gosh ive never had so much fun ever since i could rmbr!
sure, we werent wearing the proper clothings so the biting snow completely soaked through our jeans and shoes and my toes felt so frozen i thought that they were going to fall off any moment. but it didnt matter as long as we were having fun. (:

gosh i wish i cld go back there. but im getting used to the fact that im gna be stuck in hot, humid, boring ol' Singapore for now i guess. and to mug for mid-yrs. goodness the mere thought sends shivers down my spine. what a spoiler.

alright, maybe more snippets of my accounts in switzerland another time. right now im trying to rmbr my username n pswd for the vj blackboard! grr.

2006-05-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

my apologies for not updating for so long (though i dun exactly hv anyone to spologise to except my blog..) well privatising your blog just takes the incentive out of blogging i guess.

anyhows, im planning to open it agn, since its the hols now and all...and i'll probably have more time. except im gg to switzerland for a week which leaves me 3 weeks to mug for mid-years. plus there's pw.

apparently theres no trng. whether tts a gd thing or not i dunno. im gonna deprove much more than i alr have if i dun pick up some self-discipline. which brings me to my point.

the only reason why i decided to blog was cuz jolyn sent me 2 really inspirational/touching videos (well it wld really hv been if i were in the top20...but present situation signals otherwise):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fETCwKNbv0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qkr4AVvlyr0

yea, they were really touching and all, but i still cldnt help feeling tt same burning sense of regret...the regret tt i cldnt be with them, feeling the same rush of ecstasy. to be on the pitch playing, doing my part for the team and for the school.

even on the day of the finals itself, the moment sweet victory was bestowed upon the players. sure we rushed off the stands onto the pitch to join in the embrace. sure we took loads of photos with them. sure we were running a victory round around (half) the pitch. sure we were singing at the top of our lungs on the bus. but it was all so superficial for me. they won the cup, not me. they're the ones who should be celebrating, not me. dont get me wrong, i wanted them to win. i even prayed for them to. i prayed to God: God, please let them win the finals. i dont care if it makes me happy or not. or whatever confusion im feeling inside. but i'm telling you now, this is what i want. i want for them to win. i want for them to be happy. so now im asking you, God, let them win.

was i really as happy as i appeared to be?
no i wasnt. and i knew it crystal clear.

i wasnt sad, but i wasnt exalted either. i felt distant from them. like a barrier i cldnt cross. i cldnt experience what they were feeling. i didnt even want to touch the cup. it's their victory, not mine. that smile was so fake..so fake. and if there's one thing i hate most of all, it's falseness. and there i was faking me way through the moment. i despised myself for that.

and now azrul tells me: it's your turn next year. you have to work very very hard just like you have been all these while.

and i think to myself: things like that dont happen twice, jas. they just...dont. next year, u probably wont be able to touch a gold. silver tops. it just the way things work. and work hard? some people are just born talented man. no matter how hard i work i can only be that good. it's just like a peak. everyone has a peak. mine's just lower than the rest. and the faster you peak, the faster you fall.

so if you ask me what im worried abt now? im worried that the next team wont be able to repeat legend twice. im worried that all our gruelling trng in the near future would all add up to nothing. and right now, im worried tt the long break will tk its toll on my fitness lvl (oh and abt my mid-years too, of cuz)

i know, i sound like a defeatist. but i tried. i tried telling myself: stupid girl you! if you think u'll fail, u'll fail! dont be such a pessimist.
but nth works. the feeling just wont go away.
cuz that's just how the Earth spins.

so much for un-privatising.

2006-04-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

so, ive privatised my blog now. now i can type whatever i want whenever i want. hopefully no one stumbles upon it. hum.

rite i havent been updating in a long time. strangely, it's partly cuz no one's reading it now. heh. the irony of it all. but ive made a choice n i guess i'll stick to it...for now.

a couple of stuff i nd to say but first thing's first! we vjgirls'soccer had their first match of the season today! and they beat ny EIGHT-NIL! yes! a milestone in our short history! ((: they had better put this in the papers mann..after the humiliation the j2s had to suffer last year. well we're on our way to prove everyone wrong!

but as much as im happy for them, i cant help feeling sad tt i cldnt be one of them. i cldnt help the team earn this victory and i cant share the same joy they feel. i dont know why but its been bugging me ever since the cut. i tried..i try to tell myself to get over it and move on. that there's still next year. nth works. the feeling's still there..everytime i see the team, everytime i go for trng. i just feel like i dont belong anymore. sigh. i never realised it cld hurt this bad.

i just want to play for the team.

been having migraine these past few days. hell, i tell u. chem test tmr. im not even halfway done yet. oh which brings me to my pt.
ive sworn off the com till ive straightened out all my work.
so technically, im not suppose to be here. but since i came on to chk on the yoga schedule, i figured tt i cld sun bian update. hah. well at least im not on msn.

i need to straighten my life out.

or maybe i was born to be mediocre.
normal.

2006-04-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

cut.

well it's not as if i didnt see it coming. so why do i still feel so crushed?
i guess knowing beforehand doesnt really change the fact.

i feel so aimless now.
sometimes its hard not to feel like a failure when things keep hurling back into ur face.

you know, it might have been only 3 months but the tears ive shed hv probably amounted to more than that of the whole of last year's combined. then again, ive definitely laughed more too. soo much more.

it isnt like me to admit tt so blatantly. too many ppl hv eyes on it. time to privatise.

2006-04-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

rock-bottom?

far from it.

2006-03-25T23:59:00.000+08:00

ok pardon the depressing posts. was just having one of those down times in life. not that the storm's blown over, but when u hit rock-bottom, at least u'll know there's nowhere left to go but up.

so py left today. her class was w/ her at the airport so i didnt really get to talk to her. just exchanged gifts n left. furthermore, i was in unglam pe shorts n shirt :/ so i cldnt wait to leave the airport. so out of place la pls. lol.
anyway reading her letter made me want to run back and give her a huuuge bear hug. i have so much things to say to her i think i'll write back right after this.

headed to sch for the match w/ nus. WE WON 2-0!! i am SO SO proud of soccer girls! really. judging by the defeat they suffered last year and all, this is really a tremendous achievement..and one of the many to come, i hope. but let's not sit on complacency just yet.
yes, i want so much for us to climb to the top this year. then we can finally return to sch with our heads held high and no one will ever speak of vj girls' soccer with contempt or look at us and laugh again. ever.
yes ppl, we can do it! all of us, tgt as a team!
Together Everyone Achieves More, says azrul. so true.

just too bad i cldnt play today. the pain in my tailbone just wont go away ): it hurts just to walk..how to run?? arghh i so hate injuries. but thanks soo much to everyone who expressed their concern. yup i really appreciate it :)) and yes ok, i will see a doctor. haha
i really wanna play for the team for this year's tournament. i mean it's one thing to play for a winning team, but it's so much more to win for a losing one. i wanna help the team achieve it's goal this yr and i wanna be part of the team when we stand on the podium after the finals (if there's even one at all..) sigh

oh, pain pain go away
come again another day
~~little children~~ me wants to play
pain pain go away.

2006-03-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

it's ok...and i understand. really, i do.
im just sorry i cant pretend that it doesnt hurt.

things were perfect. too perfect.
but i dont blame you
cuz i shld have known. right from the start, i shld have known.

things were too good to be true.
always have been, and always will be.

2006-03-14T02:12:00.000+08:00

he's right. there's really no one else to talk to.

and the nights seem so long.

2006-03-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

alright i tk tt back. how can coming to vj ever be the biggest mistake i ever made?? far cry. the answer is so blatantly obvious everytime i see soccer girls.

And 06s62 aint so bad afterall...except for a few minor hiccups which i guess is always inevitable. i decided not to be so mean to the 2nd intakers today. hoho. plus i highly suspect tt they'll bring more life to the class. lol

and one more word: vadiance
'nuff said.
lol. ok la not enough. had og dinner ystd at hans. horrible. im gna defame tt cafe man. TO ALL THOSE WHO'RE READING, DO NOT -i repeat- DO NOT EVER DINE AT HANS.
went to some paradice place (reccomended by wilbur) to play boardgames after dinner. quite dumb la..pay to play games which some of us will prob have at home. but if u think abt it, u hv a place to make as much noise as u want...which is often the problem when i get tgt w/ my wonderful neighbours cuz no one's house is ever free for use. haha.
yea anw, we played uno stacko and taboo. hilarious! had to share cab w/ py home in the end. lol

im srsly broke now. my fortune is like -ve..literally. cuz the money in my wallet isnt even mine (or my parents' for tt matter) Time to tighten my belt. but next week hol lehhh ):

oh oh oh, did i mention we beat sr 4-0??? im so proud of vj soccer girls! :)) and and and today, soccer guys won hc 1-0! hoho. din get to watch the match tho..only the ending part. cuz we ended up playing touch rug for free-n-easy..in which i conclude i hav absolutely no talent in! lol

i still love hc's pe shirt. hohum

vj sucks

2006-03-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

Vj's uniform sucks. Vj's lectures n tutorials suck. Vj's O2 sucked. Only the people are nice. but now, all the nice ppl have been chased away.

so come vj for what? quick appeal out while you still can.

the nice ppl are dying to come back.

ok not true... or only the last part at least. but whatever.

funny what 2 miserable months can do to ppl. sometimes i wonder whether comin to vj was the best thing tt ever happened to me, or was it the biggest mistake i ever made. dealing with the departure is tough...dealing with it twice is nightmare. but i guess i have no right to say tt since they're the ones who are feeling troubled.

im sorry i cant give any advice cuz it's pretty obvious what i'd say -
don't go, don't go, and a million times over, don't go.
but tt's just plain selfish and biased advice (if u even call it advice at all)

So just know tt as long as you're happy, i'll support whatever decisions you make. Both of you.

And yes, i'll miss you gurls..
a lot.

Say Goodbye
by S Club 7

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Coz true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world, I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Coz true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll missing your lovin' every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry

Because a true love never dies

claud!

2006-03-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

CLAUDIA WONG! this post is dedicated to you!
really hate to see u sad..

so SMILE!!! =D

dun wry there's still hope!

at most just get the team to run 10 rounds ard the track...sure in one! lol

I LOVE YOU LOADS!!!
really!

blisters!

2006-02-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

coach made us run on the sand at east coast ystd! it was no help tt the ground was literally SCORCHING and the sand was scattered with shells and stones. now our feet are plagued with blisters and cuts galore. say ouch!

hmm. coach says some are born talented, some are just not talented and some work hard. but what matters most is committment.
committment..i guess i cld keep that.

and all of a sudden i have this rush of nostalgia. i miss rgym oh-so-terribly. i want to dance again ): cj's so tempting. but i know dad wld nv approve of it. and he knows he cant stop me if i really want to. heh
then again, i cant bear to leave all the wonderful frens ive made in vj either.
you cant have both worlds
That's what mommy wld say.

so ive come down to the decision tt if claud doesnt get to stay, im leaving. py's leaving in july anyway so i dun see much point in staying (i know i keep saying tt but it's the truth!) sure i'll miss soccer girls loads... but let's not think so far yet.

okok im sorry. i cant believe im still having second thoughts even now. indecision is my middle name..ha
postings are out next fri. i feel the anticipation.

johari

2006-02-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

this is for you.

this is for me.

anon

2006-02-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

alrite im staying.

anyway, phone's having wierd mood swings. been receiving dozens of anonymous msgs these past few days. starting from the day valerie used my phone to prank msg a long lost fren. karma sure comes ard fast man..and it wasnt even me who did it! what a scapegoat.

-wierd number pops up on screen-
"is this jasmin(e)?"

"yea. sry but who are you? btw it's jasmin (if phone decides to add an e behind)"

and depending on phone's scale of shuang-ness, sometimes it says, sometimes it doesnt.

and i thought having ppl u dont know in ur phonebk was bad enough.. so let me make a public appeal: if ure planning to msg me w/ an anonymous number, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME.

no sch on mon..joy! but theres trng in the aftnn. -frowns. and i dun think i can crash on mon since i'll hv my hands full preparing vday stuffs. hmm

oh they actually celebrate vday in vj. it's called friendship day :/ and there's flower delivery service to tj! that's hot! lol. mmm fun fun ^^ too bad we have to stay back for third period pe on tues...spoils everything. or maybe we cld go for class lunch. hohum. :)

.

2006-02-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

pardon the long absence. life has just been too boring to update.

cny was a total bore. the same every year. gosh all i did was literally EAT and SLEEP. time to diet! yes, danny, angie and me agreed that we'd start er..tmr. i wonder how long we'd last. hmmmm

x-ctry was not too bad. coach wants me in top20 nxt yr. i gave him that sorry-i-dun-perform-under-pressure look.

came back frm jts a couple of hrs ago. played pool at lucky plaza (yes there's pool there!) then dined at sakae. haha we were making so much noise i bet it took the workers all they cld to refrain frm throwing us out. 3 ppl offered 1 buck each for mag to finish her bowl of rice. in the end they had to bet on 1 buck for her to chomp down ONE spoon of rice. lol, hilarious.
bill amounted to $438..much thanks to the guys. there goes this week's allowance. again. at least i finally learnt the names of all the seniors. well...almost.

my class is so not happening (you didnt hear it from me!) bleah. i mean the ppl are nice and all, but they're just not.....fun.
i want my og back! ):

so u see there's absolutely nth to stop me frm leaving vj. then again, i might be worse off somewhere else. GAH. i hate making decisions. results are likely to be out this fri. great, then i'll finally know which jcs i qualify for. honestly i dun think my results will be anywhere near gd. and im not trying to be modest. well, all the more excuse for me to go cj.
i foresee another round of heated argument w/ my dad.

addition to new year's resolution: sleep early!
i was so tired last night i actually slept at 10+! ive nv slept so early for a loooooong time. it felt good (:

i desperately need some fun in life. if u think ure game enough to spice up my life, pls do! its getting really boring over here.

2006-01-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

whenever i tell ppl tt im in soccer, ppl give me tt reaction. yes tt "HUH?!?" reaction. so demoralising can. maybe im just not cut out for soccer...i feel so redundant w/ the ball. i shld have joined dance.

gah i dun even know if i shld stay in vj. i mean its not tt i dun like it at vj but it still feels like there's smthg lacking. i dun hate sch, but i dun exactly love it either? maybe i set my expectations too high. not to mention vj is far.

and there's also the cons of leaving after 1 and a half months ie. after all the money ive invested into vj. seriously, they literally extort money from the students:
$25 - orientation package
$5 - physics notes
$6 - chem notes
$6 - pipette filler
$5 - class fund
$10 - locker
$172 - graphic calculator
= a grand total of $229
Not inclusive of all the silly donations, the vj tees and my soccer stuff.
Damn, no wonder im so broke.

Then there's the problem of finding a new cca. All the gd ones have probably been taken.

But most of all, i'll have to leave all the wonderful friends ive made there :( Well, not like it seems to be bothering py... -.- Sigh, none of them are in my class anyway.

Just came back frm visiting rj though..vj sure feels much more homely. but maybe i just wasnt used to the rj envt. anyhow, im secretly hoping tt i wont do so well for Os then i can just go cj and settle things once and for all.

og bbq!

2006-01-21T01:09:00.000+08:00

just got back from og bbq! i love vadiance loads :)

talked a lot to claudia, py and pearly the past few days. im so glad ive finally found someone whom i can bare my heart and soul to :)) haha. it feels really gd to let out things tt uve been bottling inside for so long. Thanks u girls, for being so supportive and helping me do what ive intended to for a very long time. and for sharing so much as well. i hope we stay this close forever and ever :)

gg queensway w/ seniors tmr to buy boots. i still feel wierd being in soccer.
nvm. change is good..change is good.. -chants

hmm. i want to know who's santa jack.

birthdayy

2006-01-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated firstly to my fantabulous neighbours who showed up w/ a cake at my doorstep! For tt lovely hand-designed card and diy soft toy. And yuyan for tt pretty necklace. You guys are the bestest pals anyone could ever ask for! ((:

Also to vadiance for tt wonderful gathering on sun and the cake and the crazy gifts (dun try to make me wear!) You ppl are my reason for staying at vj! ((:

To my dad and his failed attempt to send tt e-card and mom as well for yet another yummy bday cake!

And last but not least, to all those who rmbred, thanks for all your birthday wishes and gifts!

You guys are what makes bdays so special.
say awwww ((:

cheese, chinese

2006-01-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

im bored and i dun feel like doing hw.

lectures x(

2006-01-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

i totally abhore lectures.

one word: B O R I N G !

i dont think ive ever disliked anything this much for a very long time. gah i dont wanna go to sch anymore! i shall go crash some place else. bleah.

east coast

2006-01-10T23:48:00.000+08:00

whheee! had a blast ystd at east coast! :)) just into the first game and our shoes and feet were alr all dirty and muddy..esp since it rained the whole day the day before. then someone came up with this great idea of leaving her stinking muddy footprint on our nice, clean, WHITE pe shirts. and before we knew it, we all had dirty, muddy pe shirts. hohum. well needless to say she was the first to get dunked. oh say it with me - revenge is sweet :)

oh we won most of the games! except tug of war that is. lost 2 out of three rounds in which we totally thrashed the other team in the third! hahaa. we rawk we rawk! then it started raining so we didnt get to play captain's ball :( walked back in the rain but it didnt really matter cuz all of us were alr drenched anyway. besides, the rain helped wash the sand off. haha

went back to sch to get our bags. no one wanted to rush for disgusting overused toilets so wilbur, our wonderful ogl, brought us back to his estate and let us use CLEAN poolside toilets. ahh bliss :) after we were all clean, nice and comfy (hee i loovee tt feeling :D) we set out to town for og lunch at nydc! played zhongjimima to finish up remaining food then had truth or dare. can u hear the pit-pattering of beans on the floor? hahaa. hmmmmmmmmm

went off to meet monkey kane weeyang. ivan joined later. walked ard then met charissa to catch the family stone. $9.50..how cld we forget. at least the show wasnt too bad. dunno why some ppl didnt like it. perhaps cuz it's not as dramatic or intruiging as typical movies...u know how unrealistic movies these days can be just to attract viewers, ie kill bill (not tt it wasnt a fantastic show but just to quote an example. like i can totally see my eyes being finger-dug out and stomped on bare-footed, it's pathetic remains oozing from in between the toes of some i-boxed-my-way-out-of-my-coffin zombie freak. not like i'll be able to see it once my eyes are out but..you know, picture. these kind of things only happen in happytreefriends for gdness sake. and btw, for those who watch happytreefriends and point at your monitor screen going HAHAHA, you are one S-I-C-K slut) im sry i digress. so as i was saying, thefamilystone is a pretty meaningful show actually. and it leaves u with tt warm, snuggly feeling inside at the end. or maybe i was just tired.

went to monkey's house later in the night, supposedly to help IVANSIM with his reading logs but fell aslp after cutting out a couple of newspaper articles. seriously, we shldnt breed laziness. and i rmbr someone splashing water at me while i was semi-conscious. dun think i dont know. that is definitely not the kind of thing u'd want to do to a cranky, just-woke-up person. they wanted to watch shutter at 3+ so i decided tt i wld be better of in the loving arms of my darling supersingle.

now tt ive blogged abt ystd, im too lazy to blog abt today. heh. nth much anyway just baking. mhmm.

lessons are starting tmr. i doooont waaantt to start llessoonss :((( RARRH.

i miss vadiance :(

suntec :D

2006-01-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

I saaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy
HEY! *clap clap* Look over here!
It's us Vahalla in the atmosphere!
I said hey! Look over here!
It's us Vahalla in the atmosphere!
I say oyeoyeoh! Shing shing shing!
I said oyeoyeoh! Shing shing shing!
*stamp stamp stamp* VAHALLA!

Haha went to suntec fountain for mass dance last night. Practically the whole J1 cohort was there dancing and cheering and getting high. :D We choochoo-trained upstairs around the fountain and slapped palms with ppl who werent in the line. damn i felt like a sports star. haha! Oh yes, take me higher! Sadly they stopped us from gg down to the fountain by the time we decided to cuz a couple of them at the fountian decided tt wet was gd and took things a lil too far. Haha. And tt marks the end of orientation. but fret not! there's still sea regatta (i think tts how u spell it) on mon! gg to east coast! wheee! (:

Oh we also met our classmates ystd. 06S62, C12. no one from my og is in the same class as me :( in fact most of our og are in diff classes except for 2. oh and guess what - ok nvm i shant say it here cuz i dun wanna be reminded of it but obviously pearly, claudia and carol wont stop reminding me of it. well just know tt quote: my eyes will bleed every time i enter class henceforth. gah.
but i still think emily's situation is more amusing. haha you see, on the first day of sch when we were queueing up for registration (did i mention tt i queued in the wrong line? anyway..) this guy behind her started talking to her out of the blue. (i forgot what sch he was frm but it cant be anywhere gd..) i mean yes, u can be friendly but not that friendly. afterall u have the rest of the 3- no 2 actually- months to make friends. what's the rush? and he had barely stepped into sch for 15min. alright, so they talked talked talked and finally! his motive surfaced. "can i borrow $1 from you?" aha! apparently, he hadnt brought enough money for the orientation package. i suspect he was planning to go ard asking for a measly dollar frm 27 ppl (yes, vj's orientation pack is 27 bucks. but i dun rmbr them collecting the money yet...) either tt or he was plain lying. oh the fag. and emily was like "he better pay me back man! shit! i cant rmbr how he looks like already!" haha and the funny thing is tt he's now in the same class as her! damn, i can practically feel him cringe. hahaaa

oh bus ride to suntec was hell funny. yes, had loads of fun talking to the girls and everyone doubled over at pei ying's exaggerated imitation of every one of us except pearly. and what was her excuse? cuz she was always jumping ard too much to observe properly -.-" eeww i cant believe ive been observed for 4 days! the pervert! haha! oh we made her observe the guys so we can have another round of guffaws :D

oh and did i mention tt im in draco (red)? yes tts our house name. im a pure-blood slytherin! hoho. we're divided into houses by classes btw. not fun one.. -wrinkles nose. and guess whats our mascot? barney, the big, fat, purple dinosaur -.-" lol fine, cute, i'll give it tt.

Went michy's house to bake some of the orders today. her siblings are so adorable. haha. anyway, a million thanks to everyone who ordered cookies from us! yes, u made ur first difference of the year! :) and to those who havent ordered, pls do! we are still open for orders. do smthg nice this cny!

mmm gg on a economy-contribution spree tmr! YAY! for my mp3 and bag and shoes and many many other stuffsss! (adidas having 50% sale!) was thinking of whether to get walkman phone (W900i is so yummy!!) or mp3 but decided tt mp3 was more worth it since walkman phones have too lil storage space and those tt have (ie. WNINEHUNDREDI) is too ex (ie. 888 bucks! what a nice number) anyway, my trusty k700i already has everything i want, so there. laadeedum! ooh life, im lovin' it! :D

vj

2006-01-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

day two. mm, orientation's okay i guess. a bit boring at times..esp when they're playing inter-league games. so many ppl..play what. mostly just cheering. vj has nice cheers :) ohohoh! and vj's mass dances rawwkk! altho i cant really rmbr the sequence anymore. ahaha. there are 6! they taught us 2 today.

inferno..my faaavourite league. heh.
our league like not very enthu..compared to the other leagues. then again, our league's the smallest. so little ppl can..of cuz owned luh.

cant decide which cca to join. like most of the ccas crammed with dsa/appeal students. join what shit.
no offence.

ahh, VADIANCE still rawks best :))) had og dinner w/ them and ogls today at parkway. wlked from vj all the way there. thought we wld end up late but we still had plenty of time to spare. got a lil smthg for ogls! oh i cant wait to see the expression on their faces when we present it to them tmr! haha. cmon say we're sweet, say it! :D
during dinner pearly kept laughing and making everyone laugh we cld hardly eat! goodness i havent laughed so hard in a really long time! haha until tears literally spilt out and i felt like i was gonna hurl my dinner any moment and my cheeks hurt so bad i thought my (cheek) muscles were gonna tear! then we mixed random sauces and juices and played zhongjimima. thx i got the last one -.-"

BUT i just found out tt we are gg seperate classes. sigh! just when we were warming up to each other :( crap im gonna miss them.

oh well, let's hope tmr's games are more fun and we dun get raped by a certain league (or any other league for tt matter) again. night world.

happy 2006

2006-01-02T04:22:00.000+08:00

oh, another thing tt's overrated? new year. fast forward, u wun wanna hear all the boring details.

yes. mich, martina and i are selling cookies to raise funds for the Jesuit Refugee Service. All profits go 100% to the organisation. :)

Cornflake cookies (small) - $8.00 (large) - $11.00
Peanut butter - $8.00
Chocolate chip (150g) - $5.00
Chewy chocolate (150g) - $5.00
Cheese sticks (150g) - $5.00

please give your utmost support! msg me for orders. all cookies to be delivered by the 27Jan.

hohum. now for my new year's resolution:

Stop saying "whatever"
Be nicer to parents

That's all i can think of for now. heh

Shyte i have to wake up early tmr. why am i not asleep.

Lalala, sch starts in slightly more than 24hrs time. No more late nights. No more sleepovers. No more polar. Oh these will be missed. And as much as i hate to say it, i love my neighbours. a lot. Till ~~next~~ this year end :)

when i'm gone

2005-12-27T04:18:00.000+08:00

Xmas was ok. too late for a long entry so i shant go into details. Oh except tt im definitely not gg anywhere near crowds on new year's eve.

And when I'm gone, just carry on don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm lookin down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back.

xmas?

2005-12-24T03:00:00.000+08:00

what i said abt work before? i tk tt back! working is fun! yes cuz the ppl there are fun! haha we're always having illegal gatherings and they're so funny! :)) oh maann it makes me feel like continuing nxt wk! But ive alr made plans on some days... Ahhh..last day tmr. im so gonna miss them :(

if there's one thing tt's overrated, it's christmas. seriously, it doesnt even feel like christmas to me. no one bothers to set up the tree or hang deco. it just feels like another one of those days tt are suppose to be special but they dun end up being very secial afterall. like ur birthday. and u'd think tt working at a departmental store w/ everyone ard u doing last minute xmas shopping wld get to u. well the only thing tt's getting to me are the chocolates! haha. ive been like eating chocolate everyday for 6 days now. it's my current life support. :)

speaking of which, i havent gotten all my xmas presents yet. darn i hope the shops open after 6 tmr. either tt or i'll have to rush down during lunch break. oooh i love shopping for presents. it's always more fun than shopping for urself. hm maybe i just like playing santa claus..or so says my dad. haha. well he shldnt have anything to say this time since im using my money.

ok so maybe it does feel a lil christmas-y afterall, esp after ive done some xmas shopping. and sent out my xmas cards. oh a beeeg THANK YOU to tanxinyin for sending out those cards for me! yes, to those of u who received cards w/o a stamp, mystery solved! she was my private postman for the day! :)) a big round of applause for our monkey-turned-postman pls!

mmm im beginning to realise tt nth really excites me now the way they used to before. like im not excited its xmas. or tt im entering a new sch. maybe its cuz ive changed sch before. those frm sn pri are probably excited/nervous/anxious to enter a new sch after being around familiar faces and places for the past 10 years. i wish i cld feel like tt again.

Christmas Through Your Eyes- Gloria Estafen

Till I had you I didn't know
That I was missing out
Had to grow up and see the world
Through different shades of doubt
Give me one more chance to dream again
One more chance to feel again
Through your young heart
If only for one day help me try

I wanna see Christmas through your eyes
I want everything to be
the way it used to be
Back to being a child again
thinking the world was mine
I wanna see Christmas
Christmas through your eyes

I see the rain, you see the rainbow
hiding in the clouds
Never afraid to let your love show
won't you show me how
Wanna learn how to believe again
Find the innocence in me again
through your young heart
Help me find a way, help me try

I wanna see Christmas;
I wanna see Christmas
I wanna see Christmas through your eyes

work! >.<

2005-12-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

veejaay. but i dun really feel anything actually. cuz i wanted to get into vj as much as i wanted to get into cj and in between those 2 choices i still had to deal with the possibility of getting into 2 other jcs...so yea. nvm u dun have to uds. i decided to leave it to fate and fate says V. hmm. tt reminds me of kane's 'happy valley' ^_^V Gayness.
A lot of ppl gg sa. i feel lonely. :( eh anyone gg vj pls tell me thx

My feet are K-I-L-L-I-N-G me. why oh why did i agree to work. it's not like i need the money anyway..though it wldnt hurt to earn some extra cash. wldnt hurt my foot. hey cool, those puns were not intended.
the only upside is tt i get to escape monster drill everyday. as if i cldnt go out myself. -.- GAH. okok i shldnt complain. at least the staff are nice and pami's mom was kind enough to offer me tt job. much gratitude from urs truly.
so yes, u ppl can be nice by gg to tangs to visit me. ur presence will be very much apprecitaed, really. :)

2:03 AM edited.

feeling kinda blonde tonight, so here are some dumb blonde jokes for u to laugh at. a tribute to monkey, the true blonde. :)

A blonde, brunette, and redhead were standing on the edge of the pool ready for the 100 yard breast stroke race...

The starter shot the pistol and the three dove into the water and began swimming.

A few minutes later, the brunette finished and jumped out of the water. Then the redhead.

About twenty minutes later, the blonde emerged.

They awarded the gold to the brunette, the silver to the redhead, and the bronze to the blonde.

As they placed the medal around her neck, the blonde whispered, " I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think the other two used their arms."

***

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

***

President George W. and Colin Powell are drinking in a pub close Old Town Square in Prague. A guy walks in and asks the bartender,"Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow,this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III," and the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 40 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big breasts."

A little perplexed the guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass?! I told you no one would worry about the 40 million Iraqis."

drill

2005-12-15T10:29:00.000+08:00

BEEP. im so pissed. are they like planning to tear down the entire building?! DRILL DRILL DRILL. noise pollution at it's peak. wake me frm my sweet slumber. RARRH. THIRD FLOOR only. dammit im on the ninth. yes it's the new occupants of jean's house. i dont like them already.

slpover!

2005-12-14T12:46:00.000+08:00

yes, ive finally bade farewell to my long black locks so try to keep the shock factor dwn if u see me. i havent had hair this short since sec1. i miss my hair. hmm, i wanna dye it purple. and w/ tt, tongues wag. so if u have nth gd to say, dun say anything. -smiles.

movie marathon at misnavi's last night. some movie marathon..we ended up watching only 2 and a half movies. -.- Fantastic 4, new york minute and part of kingdom of heaven. had to switch from KOH to NYM halfway cuz some wols ppl cldnt catch no balls in their american-accented quick-fire exchange conversations. maybe if u did less talking. :)

i seriously dont know what we were doing for the rest of the night. misnavi was doing her -HER- cs and the rest of us were like watching tv? -shrugs. and wy is such a fox in a sheep's skin. who cld have thought he cld be this mischievious. and hip for tt matter. tsk. oh spirits of mischief what have u done to wy?! give him back! i cld really do w/o having my pillow swiped from right under my head dammit.

at dawn kane started on his blog-hopping spree. nvm that, he was firing insults like nobody's business. oh u shld have seen the look on his face in the darkened room. saucer-wide eyes behind black EMO glasses, chin on table edge (cuz wy stole the chair...the possesed one) with his face illuminated blue by the glaring light from the gazillion-inch monitor, and a gaping mouth exposing his teeny shark teeth. anyone would have thought he was watching porn. it's no wonder he doesnt have a blog himself. haha ok fine, so they were pretty hilarious. insultingly hilarious that is. i swear if i had a sledge hammer, i wld have slpit his puny skull into two, give misnavi's room a lil bloodbath and feed the rest of his anatomy to the dogs.
aww HI KANE. i know ure reading this. dun look so scared, i was only kidding. :D be honoured, ure featured on my blog. haa
alright the world needs a gd critic once in a while...not like its short of any, but ~~whatever~~. besides, who'd i have left to laugh at after he's gone? no hard feelings. :)

didnt exactly manage to get any slp. after a while poor xy finally managed to get us off our lazy butts and to prata house. came back and played soccer. folded stars with straws and now my fingers hurt. oh well. then eager kane finally got monkey to teach him how to fold the stars. left em after a while cuz i decided thomas edison had better made his invention scarce. pls dont hurt me :)

have to go out again soon. sian. darn my bed is seducing me.

:)

2005-12-11T03:42:00.000+08:00

Ripped this from some friendster profile. edited.

"From the very moment you were born, you were doomed to die."
- Darkness
Before our beginning, we were nothing. After our end, we would become nothing. But in between these two nothingness, there is something. Love, hate, joy, sorrow, laughter, tears, life and death. A story, from its beginning to its end.

Actually, I take it back, in between these two nothingness, there is not just something...
There is everything.

"Yet you must not forget, that you were born to be alive."
- Emptiness

so deep.

ton

2005-12-10T14:57:00.000+08:00

i cant believe ive tonned 2 nights in a row. had mahjong marathon over at ys's place thurs night. whack 8 hrs i dunno how i survived. played monopoly at steph's last night until 5 plus? madness. exciting madness. :) just like the slpover at jean's house where i thrashed everyone else muahahaha. sadly, i got thrashed this time. but it was still fun. erm, i mean the game was still fun, not getting thrashed. haha wheee!
darn that totally foiled my biological clock. now im sleeping my mornings away. not like there's anything to do anyway. but still, i had better tune it back to [GMT/UTC +08:00] Singapore before i become a walking zombie.

OH charissa i love you! she lent me her jay chou cd!! WHEEEEEEE!! yesyes his latest one - 11 yue4de4xiao1bang4 :)) im sorry i have to say i love the cd more. ahhh!!!! hhaha

new template

2005-12-08T05:13:00.000+08:00

wheee! my template is finally finished! nice nice nice?? :)

yes xh now u can finally read my posts.

5+ in the morn. dead tired. am watching football. surprise surprise. xy influence me luh. my underdogs are gonna win. :) but too tired to go on watching. shall da ting results tmr. night..erm..morning world.

stare you out

2005-12-06T03:39:00.000+08:00

making your own template is frustrating. xh you so better appreciate my efforts..when u are finally able to read this. or if my template ever gets made successfully.

anyway, i was thinking.
when a person doesnt look at you in the eye, there are 2 reasons to it:
1. he/she is guilty of something that concerns you
2. he/she holds you in low esteem (think chinese. bu4ba2ni3fang4zai4yan2li3)
i wonder.

some ppl see you as you appear, then there are those that see right through you. methinks those are the ppl that need seeing-through. in a good way of course.

someone once told me, if you catch a person's gaze, stare straight into his eyes. if he looks away, you win. i guess no one ever taught tt someone tt it's rude to stare.

but im still working on it.
stare you out.

blah

2005-12-05T02:42:00.000+08:00

updating just for the sake of updating. cldnt decide whether to post quiz results or a nice moral snippet so i'll tk ivan's suggestion and do both.

Your soul is Red! You are very passonate in
whatever you do. You love to try new things and
stretch the rules. You most likely (but I could
be wrong) are sporty and like to take on new
challenges head first. You're a leader and
probably have a ton of friends.

People are drawn to:
your sense of adventure

People are pushed away by:
your ability to not back down

Quotes:
"Better to die on your feet than live on your
knees."
"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

What colour is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:
The world over
5 Crore children start playing tennis,
50 Lakh learn to play tennis,
5 Lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000 come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?"
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Be thankful to GOD for 98% of good things in life.

grad!

2005-12-01T02:30:00.000+08:00

so! grad is finally over. i think my mom was more anxious than me la..w/ all tt fussing abt. anyway, it was nothing very special. just a normal dinner and a couple of performances. i think our class was v extra :X but who cares! its our last night together. took lots of photos..but my camera died halfway. -.- so lousy. doubt im gonna post em here. maybe upload in image station if im not too lazy. heh.
stayed over with heather,jun and glo. we went to watch just like heaven after the dinner. omg i almost died from SWEETNESS OVERDOSE. oh but i didnt cry. yay i can control my emotions ha-ha-ha. huiren! our chick flick sleepoverrrrrrr! :)
went back to our room after tt and walked around and played with helium. yes we had lots of pretty helium-filled baloons. :) but they all sank to the floor by the next morning. :( well except for one, that is, which later ended up floating in mid-air.
anyway, i slept surprisingly well last night considering that i dun usually sleep more than 5hrs overnight when im not at home. the hotel must be really comfy. hmm. rite, now tt everything is over, i feel quite lost. :/ like nth to fuss abt anymore. it certainly doesnt feel like im leaving st nicks forever, or like im never gonna see all my other frens again. i wonder what life will be like henceforth.

came home and went down to play soccer w/ monkey and frens later in the evening. in which i came to gain the knowledge of the existence of my lethal leg. im sorry! but now my whole leg hurts too. i cant imagine what it'll feel like tmr (today) morn. and i cant aim for nuts. like whats new.
the multi-purpose court makes me feel claustrophobic. esp when ure playing ball games inside and the ball hits the sides of the four walls and rebounds like flubber. picture a life-size pin-ball machine with u standing there like a helpless dumbass doll with 'hi! hit me to score!' practically written all over your forehead. DING.

went down in the night again. monkey wasnt there cuz she was tired. funny she actually gets tired. haha ok, hi monkey im just kidding. :) played cards and badminton. and somehow we ended up throwing the shuttlecock at each other? ouch. walked out to 7-11 yada yada. just came back from playing zhongjimima. yay i didnt get wet...as in drowned-rat wet. tho i tyco-ly tio twice from guessing random numbers. xinyi and steph got showered and kent got, well, dunked. i shiver for them.

here's some quirky recaps:

ivan (imitating tam's dad): wei, ni2 zhe3 me4 gao3 de4?
tammy: im gonna kill your manhood!

me: hot drinks they usually pour in porcelain cup
ivan: what's porcelain?
steph: porc-e-lain
ivan: ohh, porc-e-lain ah
kent: oh the one can tear one right
- roar of laughter -
kent: eh wait, that's styrofoam.

watching prime tmr w/ maggi and claud. tho mingyee said it wasnt a very good show. i need to keep myself busy. otherwise i'll start feeling troubled again. like if i knew this would drag on so long i'd never have consented it in the first place. it's not doing anyone any good. gah. fine i shall just sleep my troubles away like i always do.

note to self:
bring money tmr.
buy claud's present first.

a twist of fate

2005-11-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

isnt religion suppose to unite? but from where i see it, it's more like it divides. tts why i like john lennon's imagine. it describes a world w/ no heaven or hell or religion whatsoever. but sensitive issues aside.

went to watch a twist of fate at the esplanade with jess, jess's fren, char n jean today! DAMN NICEE! i absolutely loooovee musicals!!! its just a pity i rarely get the chance to watch em. i wish i had the opportunity to watch plays and dances too. im so arts-appreciative pls. lol! anyway, if u can, go grab a ticket to this musical ok! totally worth ur time and money! we went to suntec and dines at subway after tt. yummy! i love subway too! :)

oh yes, i update about ystd too. went to sentosa w/ xiu and estee. wheee! i love the beach! :) tho i din really want to get too tan just before grad. they thought otherwise tho..BRONZE! lol! ok pardon me. so after a while i found lying in the infernal sun totally unbearable and went to swim in the sea. bliss! :) i mean i dun mind being in the sun its just tt go sentosa must play and run about mahh. lie there where got fun! lol okay nvm i think im too playful. so i swam swam swam out into the beeeeg not-so-blue sea like cute lil nemo! okay lar dun sweat. wanted to go further but estee was worried after hearing all those news about drownin and stone fishes, so i decided to be a good girl and swam back after a while. the only downside is tt singapore beaches are downright filthy and i had sand all inside my pants! oh well.

hmm i think we're suppose to turn up for trng tmr..but heck! haha. all of us not planning to turn up. gg to town instead. seperately too, which is what makes it so amusing. haha. lets just hope lao shi misses our presence..though im quite skeptical.

conflict :(

2005-11-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

so last night wasnt such a gd night. and apparently tonight aint tt great either. like fine man. force ur decisions down my throat. force it down then just shrug off the responsibility when it comes to haunt you. it's not like u havent done it before.
GAH.
conflicts conflicts. i hate conflicts. nvm. at least its all resolved now.

i had the wierdest dream last night. i dreamt tt i still had exams and i was so worried cuz i havent studied. i was suppose to be sitting for 3 subs and one of them was ART. -.- im sure i even take art la. and it was spelt funny in my dream. oh well dreams never make sense. and when i woke up it took me a whole minute to recover my bearings. haha. and i overslept.

which is what's gonna happen to me tmr morn as well if i dun go to bed now.

goodness me my schedule is so packed i hardly have time to BREATHE.

and how cld i forget tt xh was leaving today?? i feel like killing myself. and i wanted to send her off. my ass luh.

rarrrh just not my day. BYE.

la!

2005-11-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

ooh im so happy. ive finally gotten half of my grad stuff settled! so stressful! u'd think shopping for grad would be more fun than tt. ok la it was fun, but my feet were killing me. i need foot relexology!

sch at 8 tmr. rarrh why so early. i want to sleeeepp.

would you run naked in the street
with a tatoo of my name
on your behind

lol i think this song has the quirkiest lyrics. but its a nice song. by local singer and song writer ok... dont underestimate local talents. hahaa
and just for the record, here's the rest of the lyrics

If I Kissed You - Corraine May

If i kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Would angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If i kissed you

If i kissed you
What would michelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalised in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If i kissed you

You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But i guess i'll never know if i never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms
and kiss you

If i kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If i kissed you
oh, If i kissed you
yeah, if i kissed you

bah

2005-11-21T00:18:00.000+08:00

shopping therapy today! oh the sweet smell of town! :) looking for shoes for grad. 'twas not very fruitful tho. was thinking of getting a silver one with an ankle strap? but i bet everyone else is gonna get the same thing. then again, i cant find any nice one that goes with blue! oh, but i saw this really really cool pair of heels!! damn nice! I WANT! Abt 70 bucks after less. but mom says it wont go w/ my dress! :(( i told her i could wear it when i go out, but she doesnt believe that i will. i will okay!!! hurumph. i feel so indignant.
i waaaantt thhoooose hhheeeeeeeeelssssss

thank goodness ive saved up during Os. grad is so gonna squeeze me dry. and even if my mom agrees to sponsor me for grad, shopping will. :D

laadeedum. feeling much happier now. :) as in moments ago i had that pit-falling feeling in my stomach tt i wun be doing much during the hols. sigh. dun ask why. i dun even know how to explain. ok actually i do but i wun. i need to get me a job. oh pami pami, ur service is needed here. :D hmm..maybe when the sub-sci gurls are done...

i'll probably be visiting the airport lots this hol too. so many ppl gg abroad. while im stuck in hot and humid singapore. rarrh. ok la i had the chance to go on hol w/ my parents but im still deliberating whether i shld go or not. cuz my bro cant go so wun n i be bored to death there if i go as an only child?? plus im not exactly into sight-seeing and stuff. i'd rather do some exotic stuff like scuba-diving or bungee jumping and the works. and even so i'll probably be doing it alone or with my dad. how exciting. -.- gah whatever.

oh i shld stop using 'whatever'. apparently it appears rude to some people who dun understand tt its just our way of saying 'oh shut up tts so lame!' when we're not using it in its literal sense. yes it shall be my 2006 resolution and i shall start practising now so that i wun break my resolution when the new year approaches. funny that i should only be mentioning this now...but whatever.
oops.

gg to bugis w/ huiren tmr. to the new national library and yes! more shopping! :) then to sch for a bit of trng and off to meet mom for mhmm, MORE shopping! eh one day is not enough to shop okaay. hmm i still cant decide if i shld go for the classic silver or a pair of funky blue heels. peer advice pls! :)

Os ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-20T01:36:00.000+08:00

WWHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok im one day late, but i was too lazy to update yesterday! haha. omg i actually managed to resist the charms of the com for so long!
oh darn my pants are ablaze.
fine except for a few special appearances. but at least i din blog...?
AHH BUT WHO CARES! i can do all the things in the world right now! wheeeee!

So here's a recount of ystd:
Went bugis to catch harry ystd w/ pam, chirps, swei, zhi, xiu and vishnu(pam's fren). omg like how many thousand aeons nv step into civilisation already. being ard people feels good mann. lol. pami had free tix! and popcorn too! :) thx pam! movie was good. best of the four. altho it was very rushed and those who didnt read the book will probably get a bit lost somewhere along the way.

went j8 today to support those who took part in campus superstar. lol so many ppl there in sch uniform, damn funny sight. plus a lot of them line up halfway, realise need to include photo so rushed down to the photography shop (what's it called?) to get their instant phots printed. haha so funny. the shopowner's lucky day. ok sry im being xin zai le huo. cool my chi still intact..
ANYWAY, had to wait for dunno how many hours before their turn la. in the meantime just hung out with ys and frens and went to watch the other contestants. jeff huang is so funny. junyang is so cute. im so tall. HAHA OK SHUT UP JASMIN. sry la i din know what to put for the third one and i really could see the stage. that's how i concluded my first two statements you see. ok where was i... oh yes, the contestants. ok la like normal auditions, can see all the diff standards. Then after waiting for like maybe just about -shrugs, 500 hours? FINALLY came to their turn. then all of a sudden things became so exciting! ahaha! i think i more excited than them la. i wont say names just in case they dun want me to, but one of them got in! SO EXCITING RIGHT! haha. thanks to our support! :D

nth much after tt. walked ard then went dinner w/ family. stupid yoga hotline so hard to call in. must be slackers on the job.

gg shopping w/ mummy tmr! oh yay!

i feel funny now. like hmmm, what to do today arrhh? lol. oh ya, grad. and wait for sub-sci girls to finish. eh u all must jia you ok! dun slacken at the very last lap! we're all there for you! i'll bake cookies for u gurls on mon! LOVE (:

HANDPHONELESS :(

2005-10-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

someone stole my handphone! :((( what a trmendous prize to pay for moderation. rarrh. blame it on my own carelessness. but still.

why if i lay my hands on tt lil bitch....

alright, jasmin, calm down. revenge gets u nowhere.

And now that i have sworn off the com till Os are over, unless absolutely necessary (ie. NOW), i'll be totally cut off from civilisation. Plus tmr's the last day of sch! Oh no, what if there's some really impt msg tt has to be passed ard?! ok, tt shall fall under the "absolutely necessary" category. Gah i feel so insecure w/o my phone! my darling k700i. -sniffs. u'll be missed.

in the meantime, BYE WORLD.

2005-10-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

BOONE DIES. :((( i cld strangle yimei for telling me tt. imagine i had to live w/ tt knowledge through the weekend and for the entire week! so saddening! :(

i know i promised pics frm my previous outing. but since im too lazy to transfer em to my com (as usual) the world will have to make do with IAN SOMERHALDER (tt's his real name) for now. goodness, i just made it sound like it's a bad thing.

so hawwtt :) his pretty blue eyes are to-die-for. ok u cant really see em here but u can CATCH LOST! u can see em zoomed in and upclose. :)
oh wait, i forgot. he dies next epi. -MOURNS

ian and maggie. boone and shannon. whichever u like.
she's v hot too, no? yep, they make a good pair. :)

evangeline lilly!

dominic monaghan. he who is speculated to be dating evangeline. sigh. LOST so many hot guys why choose him....

josh holloway. one of the many hot guys i was talking abt. :)

and just to wrap it all up, the crew. :)